Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
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Top comments
gemmaiscoolguys 5
I for one wouldn't want anal sex on my period either.
nyxiny 22
It's not like you're entitled to back rubs... Don't be like that.
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Comments (258)
Me1977 8
The OP had her own potential comeback in that he could just use his non-sore hand to relieve his own itch...
AnimeBitch 14
Point taken.
icepick23 12
You have three--not merely two. You are being selfish.
jem970 19
OP I was bleeding for a month solid after I took my first round of the depo shots. I woke up every morning woth cramps and an aray of inconvienient side effects. I didnt demand my boyfriend wait on me hand and foot. Dont be so demanding.
Flowsidon 6
I'm pretty sure the main idea of this fml is about OP wanting a back rub...not about whether chickens or eggs came first
jem970 19
OP I was bleeding for a month solid after I took my first round of the depo shots. I woke up every morning woth cramps and an aray of inconvienient side effects. I didnt demand my boyfriend wait on me hand and foot. Dont be so demanding.
stallingsjason 6
Touché
LuckyLynx7732 5
Well at least we know why his hand is sore. It sounds to me like you were both in pain and neither one of you cares enough about each other to give a crap.
BobbieH 19
So you want your boyfriend to go out of his way, do something for you that given his current circumstance would be awkward or painful. Yet you don't reciprocate the efforts. What do you expect his response to be? I guess if you want a back rub you're going to have to give up the butt!
AHappyGoth 14
Look, I don't know about all females, but I don't have cramps or pain during "that week". Half of your pains are most likely in your head. Suck it up and give your man some head instead of bitching about your phantom pains, and you'll find him much more willing to cater to your needs. Give AND take.
hellphone_fml 37
That twisting feeling I get in my lower abdomen that makes me double over in pain and wont be relived without meds and a heating pad are all in my head. I just thought it was my uterus was contracting to release blood silly me. Next time I get them I will be sure to tell them that they are just part of my imagination. Same for back pain, which I thought was caused do too the muscles contracting. I almost forgot about my phantom headaches. I thought that was because of hormones being messed up, silly me. I guess my sex ed teacher was dead wrong when she explained this to us.
RogueWarrior869 23
You say you do not know all females yet you very quickly go and call op's pains phantom and in her likely in her head? I just had mine last week, and those pains were very real and very miserable. Honestly your comment was like reading one that starts as 'no offense' then proceeds to be offensive.