Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend clearly stated that I was "useless" when on my period. FML
Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend's right hand gets more action in a week than I do in a month. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend after a fight. I told him the reason I was so irritable is because I'm on my period. He yelped in disgust and nearly fell out of bed. Good to know I'm dating a man-child. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I started to put my hands down his pants and jokingly said, "Sorry, I'm not very good at hand jobs." He replied, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was horny. Since it has been a while, I offered to help. He sighed and complained that he didn't feel attractive and didn't want sex. I laughed and asked if he grew a vagina overnight. He got mad and stomped off. FML
Today, while I was at my boyfriend's house, I got my period. About an hour after I told him, he impatiently said, "Is it over yet?" FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, I was having the worst period cramps you could ever imagine. I cancelled the date I had with my "boyfriend." He replied, “Isn’t there some medicine you can take to make it go away?” When I told him I did and still had them, he said, “Fine, lose my number, I’ll find a girl who doesn’t have that shit.” FML
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Top comments
gemmaiscoolguys 5
I for one wouldn't want anal sex on my period either.
nyxiny 22
It's not like you're entitled to back rubs... Don't be like that.
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Comments (258)
infamoushack 10
Get yourself a real man.
CareFace 16
You spell masseuse funny.
dbrown21 4
72- you should have more thumbs up.
kaycol 8
Seems like sound logic to me
fionasupercool 11
awwww playful couple
otecasacid 22
Remember, your significant other still has to deal with their sex drive. Blue balls are never fun, and can be physically distracting.
witchdoctor1 9
And painful. I think all guys have been BBd once or twice. It is unimaginable ladies.
Shrike 23
Good thing he has that other hand then.
killerkiss92 8
Women actually get a version of "blue balls" and it's in out most sensitive part too...
LeoCor 19
Yeah woman do have their version of blue balls too... however I don’t think the rare occasion of blue balls will ever beat my days in bed in agony because not even pills can help my cramps and back pain.
perdix 29
A one-handed massage is more annoying than anal . . . or so I've heard.
mimiminx 23
Most men I know have never complained about my one handed massage...
diaosi 4
Not even remotely relative or witty, simply just not funny at all. That goes for all of the over 17,000 of your other comments too.
GeneralCha 3
But the thing is, we know who he is. Who the hell are you Mr. 5 comments?
SHAMUS_the_WITTY 18
110, if we wanted your opinion, we'd ask for it. I, quite frankly, am enjoying this comment thread.
diaosi 4
Right, I really do wish I was more popular on FML. Too bad I don't have the time to comment 17,000 times.
diaosi 4
I'm sorry, I didn't know I needed your permission.
dr_snow_bear 29
Don't like it when the shoes on the other foot do you?
starsentinel 3
Maybe you should have just let him part the red sea...
TrilliousDivine 9
Lol I know where that came from!!!
geekpower_fml 28
...Don't we all?
Needafarm 22
If you have never had anal it can be painful, especially if your partner thinks that one is just like the other. IT'S NOT.
GSpotMach 8
Astroglide works wonders.
ophel1a 7
tru dat, but on the flipside of the coin, it can be nearly as pleasurable as vaginal intercourse if you take your time and do it right! (for BOTH genders, mind you.)
ophel1a 7
187- well i didn't wanna talk it up too much ;P i've had very good experiences with it with my husband though! but in -my limited experience- it's best with the help of a toy to keep the ****** occupied as well. innocents: cover your eyes!! haha.
libsloveslife 7
Well, actually, you have three...
lashes_to_ashes 14
Both of you are in the wrong, here.