Animals: Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry,...

By Anonymous - 14/11/2010 19:51 - South Africa

Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 813

You deserved it 3 105

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Same thing different taste

By FML - 05/10/2014 23:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 775

You deserved it 3 164

Very smart

By Leauge - 28/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 428

You deserved it 302

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 645

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 16:10 - United States - Provo

Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 284

You deserved it 11 180

How could you?

By Anonymous - 15/02/2023 07:00 - Estonia

Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 139

By Anonymous - 21/07/2009 17:16 - United States

Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 401

You deserved it 60 564

By Lifes_a_bust - 08/08/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 958

You deserved it 4 445

By Starving Ultimatum - 02/09/2011 01:55 - United States

Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 934

You deserved it 3 126

By Ellencrazee - 13/08/2011 10:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 738

You deserved it 5 262

By fire0fisis - 03/02/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 104

You deserved it 2 315

DocBastard 38

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:02

I'm moving to South Africa if this is how the criminals act. I'm tired of getting robbed by assholes who aren't even polite enough to apologize for stealing my shit.

smallsmerry 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:18

how does tripping over a cat kill it?

Comments

smallsmerry 0

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:18

how does tripping over a cat kill it?

redheadregect 0

Monday 15 November 2010 0:22

well... imagine if the guy on bottom was the cat...

mountneer 0

Monday 15 November 2010 2:24

I think the cat did it then faked his own death to cover it up.

an_villian 0

Monday 15 November 2010 4:10

did you check the cat for bullet wounds?

RoboForm 3

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:24

Sorry to hear..,

Freeze_fml 16

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:29

Better than getting robbed by an asshole.

newzealand 28

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:34

"KNOCK, KNOCK" *Cat answers door* ROBBER (Steve) : "I'll be taking that thanks" *Picks up large flat screen* CAT (Dave) : "You're most welcome Steve" ROBBER (Steve) : "Chur!" *Stumbles to the door with the heavy load* CAT (Dave) : "Shit, look out for that step!" ROBBER (Steve) : "****!" *Falls forward with flat screen* CAT (Dave) : "FML"

skyttlz 32

Monday 15 November 2010 1:41

my dads name is steve and we used to have a cat named dave

newzealand 28

Monday 15 November 2010 2:10

That is ******* awesome!! Congrats on your dad having a choice name, and legend for calling a cat Dave

mrahhhhh 21

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:44

Well OP, you probably won't, but if you find the thief again, remember that flamethrowers are legal in South Africa with no restrictions :).

you_freak 7

Monday 15 November 2010 6:32

No. Actually they're not.

mrahhhhh 21

Monday 15 November 2010 10:19

Last time I trust Holy Taco to give me accurate information.

schalk 12

Wednesday 17 November 2010 8:59

Actually they were for a while - flames belching from the sides of your car as an anti-hijacking device. We have roadsigns here that warn you when you're in a hijacking hotspot.

Cigar 11

Sunday 14 November 2010 23:44

I've tripped over my cat tons of times without killing her. Track that piece of shit down and trip over HIM.

yourmurderscenex 13

Monday 15 November 2010 0:02

oh man, so scary. "yo man you tripped over my cat?! how would you like it if i tripped over you!" *trips over robber* "YEAH! i bet you will think twice after robbing me again!" *limps away* ... i dont see how that would work. but okay, whatever tickles your fancy.

Kua_Mei 0

Monday 15 November 2010 5:16

I don't think I would trip on him if I managed to track him down. I would probably just repeatedly stomp on his genitals. Oh, and, like, call the police, or something. That, too.

pinkpirate1 0

Monday 15 November 2010 6:54

I think #23 means kill by "tripping" over. Track him down and "trip" over HIM. yep..

APurpleWaffle 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 20:11

@ #78. Yep, because only men can be thieves. oh.. whats that? my neighbor was robbed by a pair of women on a crime spree last month? oh. Guess I was wrong abut men being the only thieves.