Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm moving to South Africa if this is how the criminals act. I'm tired of getting robbed by assholes who aren't even polite enough to apologize for stealing my shit.
smallsmerry 0
how does tripping over a cat kill it?
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Comments (149)
mptothedc 0
He wasn't being polite. He was covering his ass so it wouldn't become a domestic animal murder case.
naiveteswisdom 0
yeah, the thief's politeness is SO much more important than the fact he's a thief. I mean, like, SO much.
gabbygremlin 0
That is beyond insane.
you_freak 7
At #130 South Africa is not mostly white. White's are now the minority
hAGoN_fml 0
sorry about the cat
boshiboshibom 1
Sorry to hear about the cat, at least he apologized for it. Think about it this way, if there wasn't a note wouldn't you think that he killed it just because he was cruel? Better this way to know that it was an accident.
bluepandabear 0
Aww, poor guy. Kitty stories always get me. ;-;
Karnezar 2
/b/ robbed your home, you know how much they love dem cats
vman70 4
good riddens cats are worthless
MitchShadows 1
...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!