Sex, Awkward, Cheating and Intimacy: Sorry, what?

Sorry, what?

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 105

You deserved it 2 407

Sex Awkward Cheating Intimacy

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 270

You deserved it 5 899

By emkatch - 21/07/2009 19:47 - Canada

Today, I came home about two hours early from a friend's party. After I walked in and upstairs, I quickly and quietly left and went back to the party. I guess my parents decided to have a little party as well. It's called a threesome with my neighbor. They still don't know that I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 801

You deserved it 4 364

By ouch - 09/08/2009 01:56 - Brazil

Today, while entering the building I live in, I walked into my neighbor who winked at me and said last night must have been great. After I asked why, he said he could hear my girlfriend moaning and screaming, and that I must be pretty good at it. I was just coming back from a week overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 215

You deserved it 3 402

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 3 151

Nice

By Username - 07/08/2011 08:08 - Reserved

Today, after being kept awake all night by my house-mate and his girlfriend, they woke me at the crack of dawn to apologize for being so loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 350

You deserved it 2 605

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 966

You deserved it 5 442

By Kiddo - 02/09/2013 06:49 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, after months of patiently waiting, I finally got my roommates out of the house for the night so I could have sex with my boyfriend for the first time without being interrupted. He couldn't get it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 972

You deserved it 7 432

By no more mr nice guy - 27/12/2016 07:32

Today, my friend invited me, his girlfriend, and the girl I like over to his house to hang out. We hoped it would get me closer to my crush. The day ended with them having a threesome and me locked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 953

You deserved it 948

Courtesy visit

By hottytodday - 12/12/2019 05:00 - United States - Oxford

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend on our couch. Meanwhile, my parents came to visit us without telling me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 486

You deserved it 352

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 906

You deserved it 8 474

perdix 29

Friday 13 November 2009 17:17

They agreed because you invited them both over to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and threw away the rock and the paper.

boog_fml 7

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:00

Either I'm drunk or this FML really sucks because I didn't understand a word of it =

Comments

Reutan 0

Friday 13 November 2009 16:26

That's terrible... fyl. Hmm...did I actually make it this early?

crabbyabby718 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 4:57

1, you just ruined the first comment.

Krilov 0

Friday 13 November 2009 16:40

rofl fyl

tayzer_fml 0

Friday 13 November 2009 16:52

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

falling4youxo 7

Monday 29 August 2011 12:44

This is FML, not grammar school.

Ninjasaurus18 9

Sunday 29 April 2012 22:59

Yes it is. I'm a grammar Nazi. I didn't get it either until I re-read it slowly four times.

enough4 0

Friday 13 November 2009 17:08

And the guy in the upstairs apartment knows it was the girl in the apartment next door how, exactly?

xslapchopx 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 5:39

uhhhh good point.

brandon2014 0

Sunday 15 August 2010 1:20

they are in the same apartment complex, doesn't mean you can't know someone from a floor below.

agsilver 14

Saturday 23 April 2011 15:33

it's all in the cries man. men go UGHGHHHHH. women go Oh yeah or it feels so good, etc

perdix 29

Friday 13 November 2009 17:17

They agreed because you invited them both over to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors" and threw away the rock and the paper.

gatorcheer 0

Friday 13 November 2009 17:52

Agree with #3.

bugmenotmofo 34

Friday 13 November 2009 18:18

you've been replaced by a plastic penis.

Erindub 0

Friday 13 November 2009 20:06

Damn that sucks. Sorry dude

boog_fml 7

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:00

Either I'm drunk or this FML really sucks because I didn't understand a word of it =

lil_ham1644 29

Monday 15 September 2014 23:40

Op was out of town & his gf, the woman next door, & possibly another dude had sex in his (or their) apartment.

CallMeHush 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:39

Don't just hate when you come home to find out you just missed another threesome? You better talk to her and tell her the next time you want to be the meat in that sandwich. ( LOL threesome is in my phone's predictive text)