Today, I arrived home to find my cat dead and note saying, "Sorry, I tripped over him." Not only is my cat dead, but I was robbed by a polite thief. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML
Very smart
Today, I woke up to find out my house was robbed. He didn't steal anything of value, but he stole my beer, dog, and cat. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML
Today, I found my cat dead on the road. I called my family and told them, and later buried the cat. Not long after I got done burying it, my cat walked up to me. I buried someone else's cat. FML
How could you?
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, I left a note on the kitchen table saying to leave the door unlocked because I lost my key. I come home to find our house ransacked and robbed. Minutes later, I found my key. In my pocket. FML
Today, my cat died. But, before he could bite the dust, he left a goodbye present on my bed: a decapitated baby rabbit. FML
Today, I was robbed while recovering from a robbery. FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
I'm moving to South Africa if this is how the criminals act. I'm tired of getting robbed by assholes who aren't even polite enough to apologize for stealing my shit.
smallsmerry 0
how does tripping over a cat kill it?
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Comments (149)
Roldy 0
haha south africa. awesome country. :)
Colt45360 0
look on the bright side. you can still take the cat down to pf changs and get a couple of bucks for it.
Alejandra99 0
wow. failure
bigbadtim 7
What happened to the kids?
apv12 0
god bless ur cat r.I.p
futurehonsolo 0
Lmao.....
green1eech 0
We know for sure he stole a pen and a pad of paper.
mola_mola 3
no, no we don't. we know that a note was left but we do not know the fate of the writing implements
Gameguy602 0
Obviously the paper that the note was written on was tampered with, but not stolen.
mola_mola 3
you don't even want to know what happened to the kids!
Mariah162 0
What a dumb robber. The police can analyize his handwritting, well just a guess but his plan wasn't well thought threw, neither was the tripping and killing a cat part
DocBastard 40
Your comment wasn't well thought through either. Your handwriting is probably atrocious, not that I've had a chance to analyze it.
mola_mola 3
the recipient of a comment should not affect our judgment, be it a 14 year old girl or the pope.
DocBastard 40
Amb1084, thanks for the reply. Allow me to explain. My comment was neither rude nor an attack. A rude attack would have been, "You're an idiot because you can't spell, you dumbass." What I did was point out her spelling mistakes. The handwriting thing was a joke whether you got it or not. But the fact that she is 14 is irrelevant. Any 14-year old should be able to spell all those words properly. When an adult teacher corrects the students, is that bullying? I think not. My bedside manner depends on the patient. If it's a drunk driver who put his life and the lives of everyone around him at risk, I WILL tell that person that he did a stupid thing. If not, I am extraordinarily pleasant. Whether you choosevto believe that or not is up to you. And not all of my comments are rude or demeaning. Some are, but only when warranted. Like now.
newzealand 28
Well said Doc. Amb1084, dude, he's Doc"Bastard" after all. I thought It was a fair call, good work that you check her profile to discover she was 14. But 'Doc' shouldn't have to, all the users on this site should know what to expect on here... FML says enough doesn't it, get a bunch of people with '******' lives together and too much spare time and this is what you get.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
60: Even if Doc actually did have a habit of being an, er, bastard in his comments, it's something I wish all of my doctors would do (and I happen to have a lot of them). As evidenced Internet-wide, anonymous asshole humor can be quite stress-relieving, which is something every doctor needs in order to balance out all the kind, patient bedside stuff they've got to shell out. The atmosphere in the ol' pain management office would be a lot lighter, and the visits more pleasant, if my doc did this sort of thing regularly, that's for damn sure. I've been sorely tempted to buy that man a hooker. = As for the original commenter's age, it's irrelevant. It's clear during sign-up that this is a 13+ site; anyone over that age should expect some mature content. Anyone who's read a day's comments can tell that mature content isn't just sexual stuff; it includes dark humor, banter, teasing, and sometimes flat-out insults, too. If someone can't handle that, they should go to a different site or avoid commenting. No super-special snowflake treatment here, but no age bias, either. Doc, and others who make comments like this, are simply doing what so many teenagers claim to want: treating them like adult peers.
Gameguy602 0
#60 Would you rather have a doctor that ignores you while curing you, or who holds your hand while you die? I suppose it'd especially suck to have a doctor that ignored you while you died, but that's beside the point.
you_freak 7
Well, considering our forensic department has a 5-10 year analysis waiting list, and because of affirmative action the scientists aren't fully qualified, and that because of the backlog this wouldn't be a high priority case, this idea seems pretty fruitless. Not every country is like yours, take a moment to consider that this is a developing country in Africa! And we haven't got rid of corruption and bribery. If you want to keep something secret, they'll just burn the building with your case file in it.
newzealand 28
I guess there is good and bad people in every profession, right ??