By only 10 more hours to go - 06/01/2012 11:40 - United States

Spicy
Today, at work, I slipped and fell on my backside. The creepy security guard offered to 'kiss it better.' FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 290
You deserved it 3 377
Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Torva_fml 16

What a romantic! He sure knows how to get a lady...

139 9
cradle6 13

What an asshole. You should have yelled, "KISS MY ASS!" Oh wait...

109 8

Comments

brianfantana32 10

Just a bit creepy

7 2
perdix 29

You should have let him. It has been scientifically proven that kissing gluteal tissue immediately post-contusion reduces bruising 78-93%. If you missed your chance then, I might be able to help . . . heh-heh-heh.

32 8
Torva_fml 16

I demand verification before I resume kissing ass.

7 1
Torva_fml 16

Here, let me dumb it down for you...: Kissing ass reduces those purple sore marks By lots! Perdix wishes to kiss OP's ass, then continues to do a pedo-laugh.

19 1
lindseykcool 6

I read that last part like it was a quote from Beavis and Butthead.. am I the only one?

8 2
desireev 17

30- nope! I was wondering if I was weird for that! Lol Glad I'm not the only one. :)

5 3
perdix 29

30 and 47, You're both right ;). Perhaps you have some bruising issues of your own I could help with, heh-heh-heh.

10 3
xSorry_fml 10

#13 I goggled hematomas and you were correct. This is copied from wiki "Treatment for light bruises is minimal and may include RICE (rest, ice, compression, elevation), painkillers (particularly NSAIDs), light kissing from creepy security guy and, later in recovery, light stretching exercises."

5 1
brianfantana32 10

Perdix, You should become an SNL writer

5 1
LuckyTxMade 0

Atleast he offer?

5 7
Bobissmall 13

Oh you poor thing... how are you ok after such a horrid verbal assault?

18 7
jillianmathers12 13

What a pervert! You can call the police and get him arrested for sexual assult!

6 34
Raeser 7

For being friendly? I don't quite think so

10 4
Awsumuzzie 12

Calm down! It was just a statement by a coworker, he didn't actually so anything physical. Has that never happened to you?

10 3
shrekus 0

22: wtf is wrong with you? No cop in his right mind would arrest anyone for that. I would arrest you for being stupid and childish.

11 3
Torva_fml 16

Sexual assault huh? Last I checked, OP Never said he assaulted her in a sexual way. But if you say soo!!! (it's sexual harassment darling....)

5 3
The_Hitdude 12

Somehow this reminds me of the guy that was fired for making light-hearted jokes and compliments to his female co-workers. He probably was joking, but OP took it the wrong way. I hate it when people sign someone off as a pervert. He wasn't groping her, nor was he making unwanted advances.

1 0
Awsumuzzie 12

I sell baby butt lotion. Use it, and you'll be even smoother than him! Quite possibly you'll be as smooth as a baby's butt!

8 0
ForeverUnemplyed 0

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Who cares -_-

0 0
ForeverUnemplyed 0

-_- Screw this site then........t(-_-)t

1 5
mrfreak219 3

Why are people saying shit like "Sexual assault" and crap? It's a joke. Get over it.

13 3
asherm 15

Yeah not exactly "assault" unless he actually touched her. Could be considered harassment, especially since she didn't appreciate the joke. Me, I'd just laugh to comment off. If it was someone I knew well, I'd throw in a " no but dream on" then again I can make sailors blush sometimes haha

2 1