Work: Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted...

By Anonymous - 10/06/2010 19:26 - United States

Today, I walked into work to see my boss's hot son. I wanted him to notice me, so I did my "sexy walk". I then slipped and fell onto my desk, broke my desk, and sprained my wrist. Oh he noticed me alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 307

You deserved it 50 180

Work

Our house, in the middle of our street

Own it

Two wheels not so good

By Timeless - 24/02/2009 05:22 - Canada

Today, I decided to brush up on my flirting skills and ask a guy I thought was kind of cute what time it was. He pointed to the very visible watch on my wrist and said "You should know already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 179

You deserved it 55 792

By RitaDahhlinnnng - 25/08/2009 23:56 - United States

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 945

You deserved it 10 801

By ThrewItOntheGrooooooound - 07/04/2016 09:48 - Denmark - Odense

Today, a kind cyclist rode up next to me to inform me that my bag of groceries was about to fall off. Exceedingly careful, I slowly brought my bike to a halt. Only at the very second I stood still did I hear the dreaded "twang" as my carrier broke, and my stuff smashed to the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 843

You deserved it 1 806

By Behemoth2 - 14/12/2008 05:15 - France

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 369

You deserved it 68 203

By Anonymous - 15/06/2013 21:58 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 617

You deserved it 5 237

By Anonymous - 09/09/2011 22:33 - United States

Today, I found out that all the everyday Spanish words and phrases my boyfriend has been teaching me have very vulgar meanings. I found this out after I said a few to our waitress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 731

You deserved it 6 623

By secretdeo - 24/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 395

You deserved it 5 329

By Anonymous - 30/06/2013 10:58 - United States - Ellicott City

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 572

You deserved it 20 098

By Anonymous - 18/07/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 429

You deserved it 6 727

By Anon - 09/10/2013 05:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 813

You deserved it 5 481

By linn - 27/09/2012 20:14 - United States

Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 998

You deserved it 3 166

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 18:37 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, and the 4 months preceding it, my neighbors had been remodeling their house, which meant jackhammer noises every morning. The one day they take a break, my other neighbor decides to start a remodeling project. It'll only be two more months of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 265

You deserved it 1 166

Office life sucks

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 02:00

Today, I was supposed to start a new job. I had accepted a new position with a different company three weeks ago, and gave my notice. At the time, I even trained my replacement. Today, I found out that my new work doesn't need me anymore. So, I'm unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 315

You deserved it 196

Just in case

By [email protected] - 25/12/2019 20:00

Today, a customer threatened to kick my balls in if I didn’t give her a hot chocolate. I had already explained to her that it wasn’t working. She’s a regular so anytime I see her now I cover my balls just in case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 165

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 05:12 - United States

Today, I was pulling into a parking garage space and using the next car over to judge where the wall was in front of me, but ended up whumping my front bumper as I pulled forward. Wondering what had happened, I got out to see that the car I was aligning myself against had hit the wall too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 347

You deserved it 26 874

Casey Anthony vibes

By NewMom - 01/09/2021 07:01

Today, I had to explain to my 20 year-old daughter why she can’t leave her infant son at the house on her own, while she goes out partying until 2 a.m. Her response was, “What? I’m supposed to miss the party to watch his ass?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 295

By Anonymous - 12/10/2009 20:57 - United States

Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 156

You deserved it 4 854

By goingup? - 25/02/2009 17:53 - United States

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it stuck mid-floor. Being supportive, I went to hug her and tell her we'll be OK. Today I also learned that my girlfriend is deathly claustrophobic and her predominant reaction is to vomit. In this case, all over me. We were stuck for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 183

You deserved it 3 719

By Insomnia - 16/02/2019 00:00

Today, while trying to sleep after a night shift, workers came to hook up city sewage service, firing up drills and shouting. An hour later, my child woke me up to tattle on her sister. Just as I was drifting to sleep yet again, the smoke alarm battery started chirping. I give up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 255

You deserved it 206

By ELLI - 02/10/2017 04:30

Today, all of my friends showed up an hour late for my 18th birthday party because they decided to go get dinner without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 281

You deserved it 260

By kaheera4 - 04/04/2014 22:38 - United States

Today, my mom visited, and I left her for a few minutes while I used the bathroom. While I was stuck taking a crap, she went on one of her religious rants, telling my children that Easter was off this year because their precious "pagan" Easter Bunny had been murdered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 064

You deserved it 3 974

By tiredeolfatty - 21/09/2012 02:40 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was having a race with a little kid. I let him win to make him feel like a champion. After the race, he turned to me and said, "Maybe if you weren't so fat you would have won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 532

You deserved it 4 512

By Rusty - 12/12/2015 00:49 - United States

Today, I did slightly below average on my programming project. Aside from it being unnecessarily difficult, I also couldn't focus on it due to problems at home. After I confided in my colleague about it, I heard him mutter, "I knew women are crappy programmers". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 2 743

By peanutface - 17/12/2010 13:20 - Canada

Today, not only did I miss my bus by seconds, I also saw the bus driver smirking as he drove past me in the middle of the Canadian winter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 277

You deserved it 3 591

By Betty - 17/03/2010 18:26 - United States

Today, I went in for a doctors appointment. When I got on the scale, I was really excited to see that I'd lost ten pounds since the last time I weighed myself at the gym. The doctor then severely lectured me on the fact that I had gained twenty since my visit last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 424

You deserved it 9 250

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 307

You deserved it 22 516

By pirate prude - 11/07/2017 20:00 - Canada

Today, when getting off the bus, the driver said he thought I was going to exit from the front. Without thinking, I responded, "Oh no, I'm more of a backdoor kinda girl!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 958

You deserved it 2 022

By Chris - 22/10/2009 04:57 - Canada

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 311

You deserved it 4 843

Lost

By Icy - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, I was writing to my girlfriend on MSN when her roommate answered, "Sorry, this isn't Marie, she's at her boyfriend’s." Really? I've looked everywhere in my apartment, and I can’t find her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 381

You deserved it 4 021

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 828

You deserved it 14 551

By Anonymous - 27/10/2010 06:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 6 386

Judge not

By Anonymous - 18/07/2020 05:01

Today, my friend dragged me out of a movie because they swore a bit and there was drug use. Apparently, she's a Mormon now, and, "doesn't want her values compromised." This from the same girl who tried to get me to try crack a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 659

You deserved it 193

By lovegotmehung - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the phone with my girlfriend. Just as she said "I love you", the credit on my phone runs out. She now thinks that I've purposely hung up on her. She refuses to speak to me until I tell her the real reason I hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 850

You deserved it 3 877

Disinterested

By lily - 13/09/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 313

Judge not lest ye be judged

By DV. - 27/02/2021 23:01 - Denmark - Copenhagen

Today, my girlfriend and I, who are both heavy set, went into the pharmacy and asked if they sold any over the counter antidiarrhetic medicine. The store clerk, eyeing us up and down, said, “Uh, sorry, we don’t have antidiabetic medicine.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 263

By jasminejzhu - 14/04/2013 09:58 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 945

You deserved it 11 650

By lolomg - 08/09/2011 01:22 - New Zealand

Today, my dad met my fiancé's dad for the first time. My fiancé's dad is a cop. He had arrested my dad for indecent exposure in the past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 418

You deserved it 3 044

By Noname - 02/03/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 710

You deserved it 21 207

By toriforever - 05/07/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 553

You deserved it 4 347

By kiwi - 13/02/2009 19:24 - United Kingdom

Today, as I was getting dressed after having sex with a guy I like, he told me I looked better with my clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 246

You deserved it 5 558

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Top comments

fixxxers01_fml 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:13

you're asking for it by trying to date the boss's kid....anyone have an example of that working out? ever?

kalopadi 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:08

o that's ok! ha ha I bet that was funny

kalopadi 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:08

o that's ok! ha ha I bet that was funny

TokioxxHotel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:11

hahahaha.

Averizzle 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:12

Wow op.. That desk had a wife and kids and you broke it! Shame on you.

nosajb23_fml 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:13

fyl. ur bosses son should be punished for being sexy around you. maybe if you had sex with me it would make u feel better?

HeatherXCore 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:15

It's probably best to not try to get with your bosses son :P

l_s_1_boy 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:20

well that's sexy, I guess.

Cassie17_fml 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:20

what's up people!!!!!

TaylorTotsYumm 10

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:23

FACEPALM!!

FTC_Socialist 3

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:25

That must have been a shitty desk, or your a heavy one, OP.

you_and_me_fml 8

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:27

ohman, sounds like something i would do. hahaa, well if he has a sence of humor Im sure he didn't see it as a badd thing.. who knows, he could have thought it was cute

Ashleigh255 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:33

hahaha that's funnnny- but like 16 said- it's not the brightest idea to get with your bosses son! :/

MissRachieee 3

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:48

Hahahahahahahahahahah.

stiveg 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:48

Ashleigh, you're not my bosses kid, are you?;)

motocrossking10 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:49

ur hot

Ashleigh255 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:51

haha um thanks.

rawrcupcakesz 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:59

OP you should of just been yourself and he would notice you, I think. Hey Cassie I thought you left after that whole Cookie is better then Rawr. But Now that you are here there isn't any hate. So hello!!!

CvBobo 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 2:02

heii u got what you wanted so ydi

autumn16 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 2:48

ops an attention whoree!!!!!!

lezzyluver 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 3:02

mite I say pedo

xTexasxProdigyx 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 3:36

48=beautiful

rejectreality101 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 3:59

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Better luck next time?

kennyFTW3fiddy 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 4:04

 ©®

Krajjan 9

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Friday 11 June 2010 4:41

I see Tokio finally got tired of people thinking she was a dude.

youngrob 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 4:56

missrachiee is too fine

2hoesNaBagel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:05

hahah I like doing my sexy walk

nightELFassasin6 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:05

u have a sexy walk?

nightELFassasin6 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:07

op?

2hoesNaBagel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:08

nope lol

2hoesNaBagel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:10

45 is a dime

mustardcat 1

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:18

it's okay op boys love clumsy chicks

illmatic2 16

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:28

sounds like something you will be laughing about in a week or so, and this should be a great story to tell.

TokioxxHotel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:41

101- yeah. hopefully it'll stop now.

ScooterScott 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:51

OMG Is #7 a boy or a girl? I can't tell because of my lack of intellect! Curse you mother and father, for raising me to believe that short hair equals a dude. Maybe I am retarded..... I think I will facepalm myself with a duck. That'll prove everything wrong.

TokioxxHotel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:56

123- hahahahahahahaa! that's the best thing I've read all day. XD

ScooterScott 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 5:59

Thank you. I try. The game also tries to make everyone lose.

illmatic2 16

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Friday 11 June 2010 6:11

I hate the game 

NatDancer2010 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 6:28

well the only thing to make this worse is to later find out the son was gay...bum ba baaaaa!!! :0

TokioxxHotel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 6:33

goddamnit. the game. i lost it. and it's 12:33. :,(

TokioxxHotel 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 6:58

136- hi again! :D glad you like my picture. :p hopefully no more gender confusion!

ninba20 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 7:26

hahaha ydi for trying to be all sexy...

zakkyzebra 11

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Friday 11 June 2010 7:39

thug aim.

LilAfo 4

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Friday 11 June 2010 8:04

Hahaha facepalm :b

Secondine 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 8:43

that's pretty funny maybe you shouldn't try to impress people

Oreogasm 5

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Friday 11 June 2010 8:45

yea, all of you are cool for replying to the first post.

VeryNice329 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 8:54

yea! way to be Oreo!!! you are now COOL too!.... oh. and now I am too! :)

Bullet4MyChemaMo 12

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Friday 11 June 2010 11:12

69 you're gorgeous. (Im a straight girl, so I'm just stating a fact!)

Own3d_by_NY 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 11:14

#45 you are beautiful

brandonsdick 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 12:12

to many sexy women on fml fml :( hahah

brandonsdick 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 12:15

69 and 45 = sexiest people I've seen on fml

Sdelta 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 12:16

lmao, sure you're straight

HeatherXCore 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 16:59

No my name is Heather why?

EllyH 0

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Saturday 12 June 2010 10:24

You shouldn't walk like that. Ever. ><

HeatherXCore 0

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Saturday 12 June 2010 11:59

lol it's no bother :3

imzdrummer 0

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Saturday 12 June 2010 21:16

karmas a bitch hahaha

what_the_fail 0

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Monday 14 June 2010 9:52

45 is hot

Aero_boy 4

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Saturday 19 June 2010 8:26

OP, one word for you, MILF.

sportcourt7 2

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Friday 10 September 2010 23:04

^^^Listen to her she know what she is talking about (I think) lol

rachelleg 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:09

oh well you might get a pity drink now lol

jamesSIII 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:13

Trap set and sprung!

legonut4 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 3:28

I think you need some practice.

bobtheassassin 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:09

lol. ydi though

daymann 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 6:41

new fetish? any one wanna help me film a porno were girls trip and break office equipment?

Hernandez15_fml 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:09

lol awwww well Maybe he has a sence of humor

kalopadi 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:10

ha ha sucks for u!

paid2think 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:12

Poor Desk...

theChupacabras 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 3:06

paid2think, that's a great picture.

fixxxers01_fml 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 1:13

you're asking for it by trying to date the boss's kid....anyone have an example of that working out? ever?

rsiegs 0

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Friday 11 June 2010 2:29

Phil Jackson and Jeannie Buss. There is a great example right there.

Tashie96 21

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Tuesday 18 August 2015 11:42

I'm dating my manager's son, and I've never been happier. My manager doesn't give two shits, as long as he doesn't interfere with my work ethic, which he hasn't :)