By Anonymous - United States - Houston
  Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML
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  mfmylifesrsly  |  29

This reminds me of the time when I first began to masturbate. I would do it in the shower, and thought I was being quiet. Apparently not though, my mom banged on the door and told me to "stop singing so loud! "

  sturschaedel  |  27

Instead of covering noise with more noise, think: they hear it because the bed posts carry the vibrations to the floor, the neighbors' ceiling. You need to severe this connection. So what you do is go to the home improvement store, buy one of those mats that is designed to go under the washing machine (usually a good three feet square, half an inch thick, black rubbery texture, rather cheap). Cut it up in four squares and put it under your bed posts. Problem solved.

  kaykayduhon  |  7

More women don't get off with penetration alone, which would render the dildo useless. Clitoral stimulation is generally the only way most women can reach orgasm.

By  HJKM_fml  |  19

You're better off having them think you're an avid texter. If they mention it again, just tell them that you're trying real hard to break that texting addiction of yours and maybe suggest they buy ear plugs. Still, I have to wonder how loud your 'phone' is in order for it to go through your floor and be heard all the way downstairs.

  doctorhook86  |  24

#11: My guess is the OP rents the upper half of a house. I lived in a basement suite at one time, and I could hear every single sound the upstairs people made, just because of how the floor/ceiling was(n't) insulated.