By Anonymous - 24/01/2015 07:57 - United States - Houston

Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 36 491
You deserved it 5 957

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Nothing wrong in using a nosehair trimmer.

I have two suggestions for you. Feel free to use either one: 1) Buy a very thick rug 2) Use a ***** instead of a vibrator. You're welcome.


rdenkewicz 11

Yeah nocturnal bee keeping can be pretty loud.

Maybe you could do the girl next door thing and ask "wanna join in next time?".

Don't you mean "can BEE pretty loud"?! *grins* *grins* *grins* I'll leave now.

Maybe get a quieter one? Or maybe turn on a sink to cover up the noise?

This reminds me of the time when I first began to **********. I would do it in the shower, and thought I was being quiet. Apparently not though, my mom banged on the door and told me to "stop singing so loud! "

Bring your phone to the bathroom and play any loud music on the speaker, it should do ;)

#3: Next convo will be about why she runs the sink for an hour at a time.

chlorinegreen 27
rldostie 19

Nothing wrong with taking your time and enjoying the hour.

#45: Why the rush? Gotta romance your lover, even if it's you.

Instead of covering noise with more noise, think: they hear it because the bed posts carry the vibrations to the floor, the neighbors' ceiling. You need to severe this connection. So what you do is go to the home improvement store, buy one of those mats that is designed to go under the washing machine (usually a good three feet square, half an inch thick, black rubbery texture, rather cheap). Cut it up in four squares and put it under your bed posts. Problem solved.

Too much work for a woman. At that point, she should just find a man to do it for her. Either fix the bed or stop her excessive masturbation

#79 i really hope this is a bad joke and not your opinion.

Maybe play some music when it's 'private time' :-)

Only if it runs out of batteries, then it's just a *****...

I have two suggestions for you. Feel free to use either one: 1) Buy a very thick rug 2) Use a ***** instead of a vibrator. You're welcome.

A ***** doesn't always do the trick like a vibrator can do for some ladies.

Astrum14 24

3) Let everyone continue to pretend it's her phone and do nothing different.

I honestly thought they were the same thing. I feel stupid.

rldostie 19

****** only come in one kind--*****. Vibrators are used in several ways and just are better all around. Most women will say.

Instead of a rug get one of those washing machine rubber mats (see my reply to three for more details).

More women don't get off with penetration alone, which would render the ***** useless. Clitoral stimulation is generally the only way most women can reach ******.

Mr_Guy_Dude 17

Doc, I looked at ur profile pic and thought it was squidwards house...

nmw404 6

hope no family was around to hear your deepest secrets described.

Nothing wrong in using a nosehair trimmer.

llamarrama01 21

Yeah. Those electric toothbrushes can be pretty loud at times.

HJKM_fml 19

You're better off having them think you're an avid texter. If they mention it again, just tell them that you're trying real hard to break that texting addiction of yours and maybe suggest they buy ear plugs. Still, I have to wonder how loud your 'phone' is in order for it to go through your floor and be heard all the way downstairs.

#11: My guess is the OP rents the upper half of a house. I lived in a basement suite at one time, and I could hear every single sound the upstairs people made, just because of how the floor/ceiling was(n't) insulated.

I don't think OP wants them to think there's an addiction problem. That's just awkward.

Goblin182 26

you didn't really understand the FML did you? Op is not texting and the neighbors know she is not texting. She is using a personal pleasure device.

#37: I don't think you read #11 correctly.