Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
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Top comments
MRP360 14
Nothing wrong in using a nosehair trimmer.
DocBastard 40
I have two suggestions for you. Feel free to use either one: 1) Buy a very thick rug 2) Use a ***** instead of a vibrator. You're welcome.
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Comments (93)
shfs2010 4
If I was them Id come upstairs to "complain" every time I heard it vibrate. Maybe you and I could come to some sought of agreement.
sexypvc24 10
Learn to spell
Livin_Like_Larry 29
Maybe it's time for a less noisy toy
CaliCassanova 14
Own it girl! Don't change your life and pleasure for there comfort!
FunkMyPrettyLife 3
I would've just said "yeah, I'm super popular!".
JKPwnage 27
downstairs*
wvcheesehead 13
Actually Hoover makes a vacuum attachment for the same purpose, it uses the same principle as the beater bar, your neighbors will just think you a clean freak.
SammiixSue 13
LMAO
buymevickis92 26
Lol I would've been so embarrassed and wouldn't be able to look anyone in the face lol at least they were trying ignore that fact for you
blackvyper 8
Get a man! Thank me later.
limabeans101029 21
Firstly, being in a relationship doesn't mean that you don't **********. For all we know, she might already have a boyfriend. Secondly, what if OP doesn't want a man? What if she enjoys being single or prefers women?
whiosa 2
Anything is a vibrator if your brave enough