Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
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Top comments
MRP360 14
Nothing wrong in using a nosehair trimmer.
DocBastard 40
I have two suggestions for you. Feel free to use either one: 1) Buy a very thick rug 2) Use a ***** instead of a vibrator. You're welcome.
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Comments (93)
ThatSadGirl 13
Oh.. Awkward?
life_smh 15
Ok that's the funniest FML I've seen
StickyPickles 33
Its cool, my downstairs neighbors asked me if I had a washer/dryer upstairs. Then gave me props once they found out I don't.
RockyG92 15
YDI for not being discreet about pleasuring yourself.
RockyG92 15
Yourself.
shepp626 11
She's not doing it in the stairwell, it's the private residence where she pays rent. She's not slaughtering goats or beating children, she's doing what every single other adult does in the privacy of their own home.
doctorhook86 25
#38: Pretty sure one of my favorite websites was about women doing exactly that non-discreetly. Good times.
ProfessorMctitie 20
Tell them they are welcome ;)
Marie54321 19
Try just your fingers next time. Not as satisfying but it should get the job done
ParisSosa 11
oh....well alright then...
brendejafulable 41
How awkward.
Nimor 25
Do you live in a cardboard box?
halariousness 6
Hahaaa