Today, at dinner, my downstairs neighbors described how they can hear most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew that it's not my phone that's vibrating at that time. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, I learned that my apartment's walls are thin enough for my neighbors to hear my vibrator. I've lived in this apartment for three years. I've been single and horny for all of them. FML
Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML
Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML
Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, after a recent move into my new apartment, I woke up early to study for an upcoming exam. I hadn't left my bed yet or made a sound, when my neighbor texted me and asked why I was awake. No one in the building has my phone number. FML
Today, my landlord sent me a text asking me to please keep it down because our loud Wednesday night sex sessions are disturbing other tenants in the building. Wednesday is my night shift every week so my wife is home alone, or at least I thought she was. FML
Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML
Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML
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Top comments
MRP360 14
Nothing wrong in using a nosehair trimmer.
DocBastard 40
I have two suggestions for you. Feel free to use either one: 1) Buy a very thick rug 2) Use a ***** instead of a vibrator. You're welcome.
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Comments (93)
mjg1416 10
Play some really loud ****.
gintwinsmoore 20
nosy ass bastards...a damned shame you can't do what you want in the privacy of your own home without someone making note that they heard you, so now they know too. Assholes.
sabbyheartswhat 23
To all the guys saying just get a *****, y'all don't understand! The vibrator brings so much more to the table. Yea, a man doesn't vibrate, but if they did we *probably* wouldn't need vibrators. For OP - Own that shit! don't change what you're doing. Embarrassment only lasts so long, get a rug, turns up the radio or tv, a fan? But don't stop doing what you're doing. And don't be afraid to "take care of business" :D Should've just told them "bitch don't kill my vibe" :p
Kitsi 14
My God.............exactly how loud is your vibrator? Time to stop using a jackhammer lol
lalaney 14
Just play music quietly. That should be enough to mask it.
tamesenicole 27
Who cares?! Girl let your freak flag fly!!!!
bombielol 20
get it girl;)
hrhlovesrar 8
That is really creepy that your neighbors just are sitting there listening to your every move.
Suzi_d16 27
Downstair’s? Really?