By Anonymous - United States - Canyon Country Today, I walked in on my mom blow-drying my grinning dad's pubes. FML I agree, your life sucks 36132 You deserved it 4550 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By iwantpizza69 - United States Today, I told the guy I have feelings for that I'm interested in, and asked him how he feels about it. He responded via text, saying, "I feel fairly neutral about that." FML I agree, your life sucks 33710 You deserved it 4173 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Singapore Today, my boss pretty much told me that I'm too ugly to meet clients, and should stay in the office doing the paperwork. So basically, I'm a modern day Hunchback of Notre Dame. FML I agree, your life sucks 41660 You deserved it 3812 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I spoke with my boyfriend's crazy ex-girlfriend. Actually, she isn't all that crazy. He really did cheat on her with half a dozen other girls. The same girls he's apparently cheating on me with. How do I know for sure? Thank you crazy ex for his email passwords. FML I agree, your life sucks 48725 You deserved it 5170 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By peallow - Puerto Rico - San Juan Today, I asked my father if he was proud that I have never done drugs, never drank alcohol, never had sex, never had psychological problems, never been to the hospital for something serious, never been in a fight and maintain good grades. He told me I was a boring daughter. FML I agree, your life sucks 56729 You deserved it 20041 194 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch - Australia Crispy Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML I agree, your life sucks 27565 You deserved it 2415 160 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ygrowup2fast - 23/4/2020 17:00 Tonight, on Grey's Anatomy… Today, my wife wasn't feeling well. She called her doctor, who isn't seeing patients due to COVID. Had to take her to the ER. After numerous tests, they told her that her potassium levels were low. Diagnosis: eat a banana. When we get the bill(s) from the hospital, this will be the most expensive banana ever. FML I agree, your life sucks 1873 You deserved it 261 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By noooo!!! - United States Today, I made my brother go to the grocery store to get some frozen pizzas. Ten minutes after he left, the power cut out. Still no power. Still hungry. FML I agree, your life sucks 22390 You deserved it 3932 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By laurenmay - United States Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I asked what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML I agree, your life sucks 68291 You deserved it 4397 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Alone Today, I was feeling really down and decided to text a friend to vent to someone about it. Then I realized, I don’t have any friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 1945 You deserved it 284 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EOJ - United States Today, I was walking my son to school. After yelling at him for not looking where he's walking, I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to me. Not paying attention, I walked him right into a light pole. FML I agree, your life sucks 8898 You deserved it 55118 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Birthday1313 Today, my mother learned a new expression and uses it in every sentence. Her special, new expression is "boom diggity." It's apparently "hip." FML I agree, your life sucks 1402 You deserved it 136 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sucky sucky - 7/7/2020 14:01 Oh, hai Mark Today, my crush, who’s notorious for only dating skinny girls, walked out of the break room. I turned to my friend and joked, “I may not be skinny, but I can suck a jawbreaker through a boba straw!” Turns out he came back because he forgot his phone. He most definitely heard me. FML I agree, your life sucks 664 You deserved it 1545 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bllllaaaaaah - United States - Juno Wax on, wax off Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML I agree, your life sucks 779 You deserved it 1627 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unacceptable - Australia Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML I agree, your life sucks 26208 You deserved it 2727 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ma_Nikka - United States - Olivehurst Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML I agree, your life sucks 28044 You deserved it 2879 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hatboxghost - United States Today, my suburban, white boyfriend of two years told me he wanted to tell me something serious. He sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I want to be gangster." I started laughing thinking he was joking. He was 100% serious. FML I agree, your life sucks 65818 You deserved it 7701 302 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Butler Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML I agree, your life sucks 43929 You deserved it 11972 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while setting up for a party I was having, I put black lights into our bathroom for the cool bright, neon color you get when you pee. When I turn them on to see where I need to continue cleaning, I see many, small, yellow hand prints on the walls. I have a nine year old brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 27322 You deserved it 3295 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By OiVey - United States - Padre Island Ntl Seashor Today, I found out that I've been taking the wrong math class all semester. We're only a few weeks from finals and I have no drops left. FML I agree, your life sucks 3228 You deserved it 1521 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Abyssal - United States Today, I was making love to my wife from behind. As we both reached climax at the same time, she threw her head back in ecstasy just as I buckled forward with pleasure. We slammed our heads together, effectively ending our orgasms. FML I agree, your life sucks 45016 You deserved it 11866 253 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Placentia Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML I agree, your life sucks 33167 You deserved it 2848 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JustMyLuck - Canada Today, my boyfriend wanted me to sleep over at his house. Then he found out that it was that time of the month for me, so he told me that he had to work this weekend and said "see you sometime next week." He doesn't have a job. FML I agree, your life sucks 32143 You deserved it 4830 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dontask - United States Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML I agree, your life sucks 31733 You deserved it 4404 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shittyemployee Today, I rushed to work after a night of drinking and partying, and put my hair up on my way in. People started worriedly asking what happened to my head, so I looked in the mirror. I had scratches and a welt on my forehead from hitting the wall during sex last night. FML I agree, your life sucks 1801 You deserved it 3071 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By blue - United States Today, I was put on notice at work due to my "anger problem." Apparently, sighing in a meeting means you will be labeled as someone with a short temper. However the creepy stalker guy is on the fast track to management. FML I agree, your life sucks 26461 You deserved it 3097 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/7/2020 23:00 Sharing is caring Today, I found out my sister-in-law cheated on her husband. I also found out my uncle cheated on my aunt with my sister-in-law. FML I agree, your life sucks 1635 You deserved it 103 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anonymous - United States - Cape Coral Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML I agree, your life sucks 54018 You deserved it 4187 93 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yaa - 17/4/2020 17:00 Everyone's an expert Today, my sister's husband, who's never even been to college let alone medical school, told me that my cancer is not hereditary, despite a deep family history. He instead swears it's due to my "poor lifestyle and eating habits." Mind you, he's a 300 lbs, fall-down drunk with multiple DUIs. FML I agree, your life sucks 1936 You deserved it 146 14 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Glendale Today, I received a package from my deployed husband. It contained a scarf, a letter, and a bag full of his pubes. FML I agree, your life sucks 36237 You deserved it 4185 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous We hear it was a great show! Today, I was supposed to be going to Edinburgh to see my favourite band live. I was expecting to be picked up at 8 a.m. for the drive there, but I woke up to a text saying my friend bought tickets for the wrong city. The show he paid was for 2 days ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 1615 You deserved it 124 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kanata Today, my phone cut out during a call for a job interview. I tried calling them back, but there was no answer. Later, I got an email from the interviewer, saying I was no longer being considered for the position due to my being "rude and unprofessional." FML I agree, your life sucks 1745 You deserved it 135 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, I competed in a ballet competition and made the finals, while I was on stage awaiting the results, I sneezed really loudly and snot went flying all over the stage. When I went to accept my award the woman presenting it refused to shake my hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 38610 You deserved it 8782 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML I agree, your life sucks 42160 You deserved it 6430 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina - Rosario Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML I agree, your life sucks 54083 You deserved it 17957 148 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By steve - United States Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML I agree, your life sucks 9412 You deserved it 35728 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Korea Republic of Today, I was waiting for my girlfriend, I wanted to have a serious talk about her hypochondria. She called to cancel because she was (self) diagnosed with some sort of 'neurological disorder'. FML I agree, your life sucks 26983 You deserved it 3506 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML I agree, your life sucks 7616 You deserved it 3846 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Evjoel - Bermuda - Hamilton Today, whilst making a cake for my kids, I accidentally got some cocoa powder in my nose. Now it feels like my nose is burning stronger than the fires of hell. On the bright side, everything smells like chocolate. FML I agree, your life sucks 11559 You deserved it 1080 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AgentKoos_99 - South Africa - Johannesburg Today, after waiting 3 months to see if I got the job I had applied for, I was told that they never received my application. Turns out that the email address that they told me to send it to was not being checked anymore and that they would be happy to consider me for the following year. FML I agree, your life sucks 13877 You deserved it 1342 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DaigCrainielson - 12/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Sun Valley Mystery Today, I found out I had 3/4s of a Cheezit stuck in my sinus. No one knows how it got there, but the doctors found it while testing for COVID. I have an appointment soon to remove it. FML I agree, your life sucks 945 You deserved it 188 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By colton_colton | 49 #6182761 - Saturday 24 January 2015 23:58 That's something you could've lived a happy life without seeing. 234 1 Reply
By _parth | 20 #6182759 - Saturday 24 January 2015 23:58 Some things, you wish you could delete from memory. Send a private message 190 2 Reply
By _parth | 20 #6182759 - Saturday 24 January 2015 23:58 Some things, you wish you could delete from memory. Send a private message 190 2 Reply
Reply Classy_Sassy_15 | 15 #6182796 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:27 Definitely Send a private message 5 18 Reply
Reply zgomon | 10 #6182840 - Sunday 25 January 2015 1:36 What's wrong with her heating up her meal before she gobbles it? Send a private message 50 8 Reply
Reply hugozac88 | 22 #6182904 - Sunday 25 January 2015 3:51 Well that blows Send a private message 18 5 Reply
Reply incoherentrmblr | 21 #6183207 - Sunday 25 January 2015 10:16 I swear they did something like this on a Malcolm in the Middle episode... Send a private message 10 3 Reply
Reply Weirdo_Babe | 13 #6183583 - Sunday 25 January 2015 20:49 #1 I would like to get bleach for my eyes and brain to bleach what I saw out if I were the OP Sorry that you saw something that can't be unseen OP Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By colton_colton | 49 #6182761 - Saturday 24 January 2015 23:58 That's something you could've lived a happy life without seeing. 234 1 Reply
By hegchog12 | 18 #6182768 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:01 Should you not be telling this to a psychiatrist? Send a private message 78 3 Reply
By ndnpride88 | 25 #6182769 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:02 You have been officially scarred for life op. Hope you bounce back Send a private message 45 1 Reply
By iop330 | 22 #6182773 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:03 Well I guess it's better than seeing her performing a different type of blow job. Not much though. Send a private message 116 1 Reply
Reply devildog562 | 33 #6182808 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:38 It says blow drying. It very well could have been with moms mouth. Send a private message 3 48 Reply
Reply Morning_fml | 22 #6183032 - Sunday 25 January 2015 7:31 *Whoosh* Did you hear that, #18? That was the joke flying by you. Send a private message 34 3 Reply
By ComoEsJuan | 24 #6182774 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:03 Going for the old Don King look... Send a private message 38 3 Reply
By _Peppermint_ | 34 #6182775 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:04 LOL. At least she wasn't giving him a blow job ¿ Send a private message 33 2 Reply
Reply ndnpride88 | 25 #6183015 - Sunday 25 January 2015 7:01 Technically in a way she was lol Send a private message 19 2 Reply
By clumsylobster | 17 #6182776 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:04 Were they long or short? Send a private message 28 5 Reply
Reply Roskosity | 22 #6182978 - Sunday 25 January 2015 5:48 Obviously long if they needed the use of a blow dryer. Send a private message 18 0 Reply
By GunSlinger69 | 19 #6182778 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:04 Not as bad as the FMLs where the parents are straight up doing it. Send a private message 24 3 Reply
Reply igive | 28 #6182799 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:28 Idk, I think seeing the dad grinning would make it much worse. Either way, not something anyone needs to see. Send a private message 26 1 Reply
By royr7395 | 29 #6182783 - Sunday 25 January 2015 0:10 Wait. Did you knock first, though? o.o that may have saved you. Send a private message 37 1 Reply
Reply ElmoSaysSquishy | 28 #6182874 - Sunday 25 January 2015 3:04 Good chance they didn't knock because the hairdryer was on and they assumed it wouldn't be heard. Send a private message 8 1 Reply
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 438 You deserved it 140 3 Comments
Today, I started to cry while masturbating. This isn't the first time that this has happened. FML I agree, your life sucks 439 You deserved it 179 4 Comments