Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint... - FML

By Anonymous - 19/3/2015 15:56 - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30238

You deserved it

2873

Tweet

Share

Work name

Great boyfriend

Hello everyone!

By Master Debater - 1/2/2013 11:05 - Australia

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26925

You deserved it

39922

Tweet

Share

By scewable - 13/10/2011 07:19 - United States

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

I agree, your life sucks

38959

You deserved it

10004

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/1/2014 23:13 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49534

You deserved it

5661

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/10/2015 10:22 - Australia

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29568

You deserved it

2111

Tweet

Share

By me - 8/9/2012 22:39 - United States

Today, I discovered a large and somewhat disturbing whitehead inside my ear crevice. Apparently it's been there for a while, because everyone at work has nicknamed it Hugo. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23869

You deserved it

3037

Tweet

Share

By brokebihhhh - 2/1/2017 09:22 - United States

Today, I decided to catch a flight to see my boyfriend, who is stationed in the army 300 miles away. When I was just 15 minutes from the base he called to say that we should break up. Now I'm heading back to California, single and broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7819

You deserved it

620

Tweet

Share

By Walk of Shame - 13/11/2018 22:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is also my boss, was giving me a blowjob at work. Halfway through, his boss knocked on the door and I had to quickly get dressed and slip out the other door. After leaving, I realized that I was still barefoot and I had to walk back to my desk in front of my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1404

You deserved it

5726

Tweet

Share

By cookiecrust - 7/12/2009 14:44 - Singapore

Today, I found out from my mom that the sweet smelling shampoo she bought recently belongs to Tammi. I've been using it for a week now. The chocolate drops I ate yesterday are also hers. Tammi is our pet Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25511

You deserved it

9015

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/7/2016 17:45 - Mexico - Saltillo

Today, I now know how it feels to have a splinter of wood hammered a full inch underneath your fingernail. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15576

You deserved it

1029

Tweet

Share

By fmlmao - 28/1/2017 12:00

Today, I was feeling depressed, so I decided to go snowboarding with friends to cheer myself up. I fell on the first trail and broke my dominant wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6710

You deserved it

551

Tweet

Share

By charlotte273 - 30/6/2010 09:39 - United Kingdom

Today, in an attempt to save money on waxing, I bought veet hair removal cream. I also discovered it has the same effect on carpets. Now I have to pay for a replacement. So much for saving money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24145

You deserved it

13834

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/8/2019 06:02

Today, I wasn't allowed to fly. Again. Yesterday my flight was overbooked. Today I didn't have the yellow fever vaccine. Not once was this requirement mentioned. Nobody would believe me. Luckily, it turned out that this requirement did not apply to me. They realised this after the plane left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1883

You deserved it

102

Tweet

Share

By Jenny - 5/4/2020 23:00

Three is a magic number

Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks

2089

You deserved it

433

Tweet

Share

By Michele - 18/1/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, while babysitting a six year old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his pants/undies and pointed to his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42952

You deserved it

3997

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 8/1/2016 06:49 - United States

Today, I arrived at work to find a bullet hole in the window of the storefront we're leasing. Security assured me it had always been there and the glass shards on the floor had somehow been missed in my many vacuum passes and the pre-lease inspection two months ago, so no need to worry or fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22856

You deserved it

1333

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 25/12/2012 07:12 - United States

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20801

You deserved it

55250

Tweet

Share

By Tired Girlfriend - 14/6/2017 22:00

Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3763

You deserved it

453

Tweet

Share

By stk - 19/12/2016 12:56 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up at 3am to catch my flight back home, only to realize that my flight was pushed back 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6592

You deserved it

453

Tweet

Share

By Hellohaileyexoh - 27/8/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I went to get food, I was late so my friend ordered for me. I took a few bites and it was getting hard to breathe. I realized it's a bluebery muffin, I'm deathly allergic. I look to my friend, she was laughing saying she wanted to see if it was true. I just got out of the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks

72901

You deserved it

5881

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/7/2012 19:10 - United States - Findlay

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a diet coke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

42627

You deserved it

9969

Tweet

Share

By notsoskinny - 18/4/2009 16:13 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I gained a few pounds and thought I looked fat. He replied that I looked the same and that I shouldn't worry because he likes fat girls. I never thought I was fat before this. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48819

You deserved it

18561

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/8/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26102

You deserved it

2223

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 20/5/2012 19:43 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I went to a job interview at a small family-owned business. After the interview, the owner's son took me into his office and told me I'm not getting the job and to get out, because apparently, the old man thinks I'm "possessed by a demon". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24782

You deserved it

2125

Tweet

Share

By accidentalslut - 7/8/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

I agree, your life sucks

22026

You deserved it

56069

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/7/2014 18:34 - United Kingdom - Rugby

Today, I had my third date with a lovely guy. After I got home, I figured I'd try to see if I could find his Facebook profile. I did. His pictures were nice; lovely wedding photos for sure, and his newborn baby is adorable. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61167

You deserved it

5171

Tweet

Share

By shwasted - 22/2/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I had one of the worst first dates of my life. After leaving the restaurant early, we went to a party to try and salvage the night. My date then got wasted, ended up puking in the back seat of my car on the way home, then lied about it. My night ended with me cleaning vomit out of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27421

You deserved it

3753

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/6/2020 17:02

Mixed signals

Today, my girlfriend always assures me she doesn’t care if I’m a little overweight, yet in the past few weeks she’s bought me running shorts, new trainers, a set of professional barbells and weights, a "how to lose weight in your living room" book and installed a treadmill in the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

972

You deserved it

518

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/11/2017 13:00 - United States

Today, during the birth of my first child, my epidural didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4057

You deserved it

446

Tweet

Share

By Garcia2284 - 13/9/2018 13:00

Today, I asked a customer three times before he saw the doctor if he had any medical insurance and he replied "no" each time. Paying his bill out of pocket, this dude had the nerve to ask, "So why didn't my medical insurance cover this?" He had coverage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2836

You deserved it

138

Tweet

Share

By somebodyelse - 17/8/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, and then he said, "Lets pretend you are someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks

58634

You deserved it

5471

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/8/2014 06:44 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks

55576

You deserved it

6234

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/10/2013 00:33 - United States - North Little Rock

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47196

You deserved it

4193

Tweet

Share

By chickennbenchpress - 31/5/2011 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18009

You deserved it

81150

Tweet

Share

By douglas - 17/7/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

40081

You deserved it

8217

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/11/2014 17:10 - United States - San Diego

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48664

You deserved it

3042

Tweet

Share

By helper - 1/12/2009 06:15 - Costa Rica

Today, while dining at a restaurant I heard a women choking. I immediately ran to her, wrapped my arms around her and started giving her abdominal thrusts. She freed herself and slapped me. Turns out she wasn't choking, she was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16548

You deserved it

34457

Tweet

Share

By hospital - 5/10/2010 23:36 - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40947

You deserved it

5631

Tweet

Share

By fml1977 - 4/3/2010 06:43 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks

27199

You deserved it

7931

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/1/2019 11:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2023

You deserved it

347

Tweet

Share

By fastfoodslave - 6/9/2014 06:11 - United States - Northampton

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40684

You deserved it

6792

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By netflixislove | 32

#6237521 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:14

Ahh classic hypocrites... Maybe you should move

By jerome72 | 14

#6237532 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:18

File a complaint yourself OP or record them making a lot of noise. If you have evidence like that theres no way you wont be taken seriously.

Comments

By netflixislove | 32

#6237521 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:14

Ahh classic hypocrites... Maybe you should move

Reply

Retaheki | 27

#6237651 - Friday 20 March 2015 2:25

It's why I live on the 2nd floor. People above me thankfully don't stomp, and nobody lives below so I can be stonefooted.

By Mitchellbassists | 29

#6237522 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:14

Ugh, neighbors stink. I hope you, OP don't get in trouble.

Reply

slingerslasher | 24

#6237697 - Friday 20 March 2015 3:13

Neighbors are the worst. Luckily I live in a cryogenic chamber in the middle of Utah and only come out once every four days to check FML.

Wifi sucks tho

By jasonswife423 | 18

#6237523 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:15

Sink to their level, file complaints against them...

Reply

slingerslasher | 24

#6237701 - Friday 20 March 2015 3:16

OP can't sink to their level if he/she already lives below them. :P

But actually, nothing wrong with complaining if complaints are warranted!

By jerome72 | 14

#6237532 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:18

File a complaint yourself OP or record them making a lot of noise. If you have evidence like that theres no way you wont be taken seriously.

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6237534 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:19

Dude, when you move out of that apartment, you will be so happy. I just got out of mine. Neighbors fucking blow.

By eyebrowzzz | 21

#6237543 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:22

Complain to them everytime they make noise

Reply

photographer49 | 22

#6237637 - Friday 20 March 2015 2:11

#7 if OP complains to them I don't think they are going to care. Might just give them excuse to complain about "harrassment." Since they enjoy complaining about bullshit

By _kyleG_ | 34

#6237547 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:23

Counter their claim with a claim of your own, but wait a night and record their noisiness for evidence.

By HellaFucked | 8

#6237554 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:27

FYL, op, I feel you.
Ah, the apartment life.

By abNormal62 | 23

#6237556 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:28

If it's a regular occurrence that you can set your watch by, invite the building superintendent superintendent up for a coffee or a beer let them experience it firsthand

By Cassandra2015 | 21

#6237559 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:29

with banging on the ceiling, you gave them a reason to file a complaint . what you should have done was went up to their apartment and voiced your concern with them. the situation might have been rectified that way, and without anyone getting complaints

Reply

Jinxsie | 27

#6237614 - Friday 20 March 2015 1:35

That or OP could've filed a complaint from the start.