Miscellaneous: Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint... - FML

By Anonymous - United States - West Babylon

Today, I found out my upstairs neighbors filed a noise complaint against me for banging on the ceiling every night. They conveniently left out the part where they constantly stomp, shout, and do stuff that sounds like they're dropping bricks to the floor every night. FML

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And today, on Dr Phil…

Backwards world

Deadbeat

By obnum - United States - New York

Today, after months of being pestered to do so, I finally read the first Harry Potter book. I hated it. Upon hearing this, my girlfriend posted the fact on Facebook, where I immediately received tons of abuse and eventual shunning by my friends, family, and coworkers. My girlfriend just laughed. FML

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By Allergies suck - United States - Westport

Today, I had four separate allergic reactions. The first from the pillow at the hotel I was staying at, the second and third from two separate ice cream parlors due to cross-contamination, and the fourth from peanut dust in the air on the plane ride home from my vacation. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Elmont

Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML

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By Clumsyblonde22 - United States

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Schnecksville

Today, I found out that my "girlfriend" is only with me for free transportation. She even has my contact saved as the car emoji. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

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By grrrrrr - United States

Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML

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By SucksToBeMe - United States

Today, I had a meeting with the CEO about a promising job with good pay and benefits. Upon meeting, we immediately recognized each other. He was someone I used to make fun of in school all the time. He responded by refusing to interview me and had security throw me out by force. Karma bites. FML

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By ddhaley1 - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I learned that the "nasty smell" in my room, which I cannot detect, does not exist. It was just my stepmother trying to make me go insane deep-cleaning my room for her personal amusement. FML

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By Noname - United States

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

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By lalalasmiles06

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

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By bamrd - United States - Boulder

Today, my university is capable of sending me two diplomas in short succession due to a clerical error, but can't recognize that I've graduated and won't be taking classes with them in the fall. FML

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By BadKneeBackAndSinuses

Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

The straights are at it again

Today, I went on a Grindr date with a really cute guy. I thought things went really well. When he dropped me off at home, he told me not to text him anymore because his wife might get mad. FML

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By everysingleone - United States

Today, I found out that every single picture that I have ever sent to my boyfriend, his father has also received. Every. Single. One. FML

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By htx91 - United States - San Antonio

Today, after opening a letter from the VA, I found out that I have to pay back all the money I earned last year in the Army. I just spent $500 on Christmas presents. Payments start in January. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my mother. She asked me if I was going to make it to Christmas at home. I told her that I would try and make it home since it would be my grandma's last Christmas alive. To my luck, grandma was sitting in the car with my mother, and speaker phone was in use. FML

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By homersgirl - United States

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

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By Choum - France

Today, I realized that my ex has REALLY dumped me for a video game. And he will not change his mind. FML

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By lukas - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

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By anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had my girlfriend over at my parents for dinner. When we were done, my dad went around to collect all the dirty plates and stacked them on his arm. When he got to my girlfriend, the weight became too much and he and the plates fell on top of her. FML

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By toothpaste - Australia

Today, a man crashed into my car. He then got out of his car, dug a toothbrush and toothpaste out of his bag, and tried to brush away the damage. FML

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By Nathanael Johnson - Australia

Today, after a fun movie night, I found a note on my fridge saying, “It was delicious.” I don’t know what it is referring to, since nothing is missing and we didn’t eat anything during the movie. FML

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By howannoying - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my mother started cursing at a lady for tooting her horn at her in traffic, because there was "no need for road rage". When I tried to calm her down, she slammed on the brakes and told me to get out and walk. FML

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By embarassed_chick - United States

Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML

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By creepingjennie - 7/6/2020 02:11

Because I'm worth it

Today, I discovered that head lice shampoo can remove the dye from your hair. FML

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By TheHarvardian - United States - Ft Mitchell

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

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By Mike - United States

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

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By zboy_123 - India

Today, I went to this meditation center which my mom suggested to get mental peace as I have been hating my job and life for some time now. I drove for an hour and then walked around in scorching Indian sun for 2 hours trying to locate the damn place. I got lost and returned home angrier than ever. FML

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By joleezad5 - United States - Nixa

Today, while watching the Olympics, my father found it completely necessary to make a farting sound every single time an athlete jumps or bends over. This will be a very long few weeks. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Bellevue

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the river. She threw mud on me, so I playfully threw some on her, and we got into a mud fight. Apparently, she took the "fight" seriously, because I'm now single. FML

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By MessedXUp - United States

Today, I went on a date with a new guy after not dating for quite some time. I'd drank a lot of water, so I wouldn't eat so much on the date and look like a pig. Unfortunately, I'd forgotten how funny this guy really was. He made me laugh so hard, I peed all over myself. FML

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By Anonyme

Today, my parents, who aren’t usually lenient, allowed me to have my boyfriend over. We started to cuddle, things got a little heated, but then my sister walks in and says, “You do my math homework, or I tell mom what you guys were doing.” I don’t remember middle school math being this hard. FML

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By gabby - United States

Today, I'm driving cross-country with my parents. As if the stifling heat isn't bad enough, they keep stopping to admire, comment on, and practically do a photoshoot in every corn field we pass. FML

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By jack - United Kingdom - London

Today, due to medication I am taking that causes constipation, I have become all too accustomed to using a disposable rubber glove to dig crap out of my own butthole. FML

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By unluckysamaritan - Sweden - H??r

Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on the subway. FML

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By Matt L - 21/8/2020 14:07 - United States - Staten Island

Bad day

Today, I discovered a nail in the tire of my car and a nice sized crack on the screen of my phone. I didn't think the day could get worse, until on my way to fix my tire, the cherry of my cigarette fell off and burned a huge hole in my driver's seat. This was my day off. FML

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By WTTFFFF - United States - Tecumseh

Today, the creepy kid who sits behind me in English class decided that sniffing my hair wasn't disturbing enough for his liking, so he tried something new: popping one of the pimples on my neck. When I reacted in horror, all he could say was, "It looked pretty..." FML

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By Patiently Watching

Today, after three university degrees and a decade of avoiding social media in order to make intelligent use of my time online, I discovered that giraffes are addictively mesmerizing. FML

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Top comments

By netflixislove | 32

#6237521 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:14

Ahh classic hypocrites... Maybe you should move

By jerome72 | 14

#6237532 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:18

File a complaint yourself OP or record them making a lot of noise. If you have evidence like that theres no way you wont be taken seriously.

COMMENTS

By netflixislove | 32

#6237521 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:14

Ahh classic hypocrites... Maybe you should move

Reply

Retaheki | 27

#6237651 - Friday 20 March 2015 2:25

It's why I live on the 2nd floor. People above me thankfully don't stomp, and nobody lives below so I can be stonefooted.

By Mitchellbassists | 29

#6237522 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:14

Ugh, neighbors stink. I hope you, OP don't get in trouble.

Reply

slingerslasher | 24

#6237697 - Friday 20 March 2015 3:13

Neighbors are the worst. Luckily I live in a cryogenic chamber in the middle of Utah and only come out once every four days to check FML.

Wifi sucks tho

By jasonswife423 | 18

#6237523 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:15

Sink to their level, file complaints against them...

Reply

slingerslasher | 24

#6237701 - Friday 20 March 2015 3:16

OP can't sink to their level if he/she already lives below them. :P

But actually, nothing wrong with complaining if complaints are warranted!

By jerome72 | 14

#6237532 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:18

File a complaint yourself OP or record them making a lot of noise. If you have evidence like that theres no way you wont be taken seriously.

By ComoEsJuan | 24

#6237534 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:19

Dude, when you move out of that apartment, you will be so happy. I just got out of mine. Neighbors fucking blow.

By eyebrowzzz | 21

#6237543 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:22

Complain to them everytime they make noise

Reply

photographer49 | 22

#6237637 - Friday 20 March 2015 2:11

#7 if OP complains to them I don't think they are going to care. Might just give them excuse to complain about "harrassment." Since they enjoy complaining about bullshit

By _kyleG_ | 34

#6237547 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:23

Counter their claim with a claim of your own, but wait a night and record their noisiness for evidence.

By HellaFucked | 8

#6237554 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:27

FYL, op, I feel you.
Ah, the apartment life.

By abNormal62 | 23

#6237556 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:28

If it's a regular occurrence that you can set your watch by, invite the building superintendent superintendent up for a coffee or a beer let them experience it firsthand

By Cassandra2015 | 21

#6237559 - Friday 20 March 2015 0:29

with banging on the ceiling, you gave them a reason to file a complaint . what you should have done was went up to their apartment and voiced your concern with them. the situation might have been rectified that way, and without anyone getting complaints

Reply

Jinxsie | 27

#6237614 - Friday 20 March 2015 1:35

That or OP could've filed a complaint from the start.