By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 289
You deserved it 13 336

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Top comments

You weren't leaglely at fault, so don't crow about your problems here. You're pigeon-holing yourself as whiny. Swallow your pride, tell your husband that he doesn't rule the rooster - toucan play this game. If he won't play wren you fight back, call him chicken. From heron out, you can be on the offensive. If he throws something at you, duck. Owl bet this strategy will work. Good luck!

Funny how that pilot that hit some birds and crashed his plane into the Hudson River is a hero, but when you do it...


how could you kill an innocent bird??? :'(

why does everything say 3/2/11 on it? Today is the 1st, right?

59, time machines are on sale bro get one before they run out!

nah OP was just playing angry birds


it is on Eastern time

59: Did you not learn about timezones?

well I live in eastern time and I sent that at like 9 on 2/28

savvyjiggly11 0



a_girl_i_know 0

Nice husband you got there

Well, it is her fault. But still a little traumatic.

damn yu r hot ! lol

Avenged7Gabe 0

it was not her fault retard

a_girl_i_know 0

yea, it wasn't her fault, it's a completely normal response to something unexpected crashing into your wind shield.

Where in this FML does it say the bird flew in to her windshield? But I agree. Blame lies upon those who were following too closely, not OP.

Yeah, it is, 40. Somehow, despite your insult, I'm certain I'm much smarter than you. Anyway, I don't slam on the brakes when a bird flies in front of me or something smacks into my windshield. You really shouldn't be driving if that's your reaction to something that barely even register in your field of vision. Hitting the brakes in general shouldn't be your instinctual reaction when you're "surprised."

WallyTheWombat 0

It's instinctual to hit the breaks when something crosses your car's path. What if it's a child? It's the other car's fault for following too closely, which is a moving vehicle violation btw.

If something hit my windshield I'd be slamming on the breaks.... too bad for the poor dumbasses that were riding her ass.

Will you be slamming on lunch breaks or dinner breaks, 'Cus now I'm very confused, is slamming like a term for doing drugs? Should you be slamming at work?

A child does not equal a bird... I've hit the brakes when a child ran out in front of my car, but never for a bird. I could see tapping the brakes instinctually, but full on slamming the brakes is often dangerous.

Prankster7o7 5

I could see slamming on the brakes for a deer or some sort of livestock, but a bird? Come on.

At the right speed it could do damage to the windshield. Plus it's a natural reaction to break when things are right in front of you.

that really sucks. poor bird. It's not your fault because it scared you, but maybe you could have reacted differently rather than slamming on the breaks

mintcar 9

Tango, U MAD bro?

#43, your bridge called, they want to know where you've wandered off to.

RedPillSucks 31

Well, the people who ran into her were following too closely, so while she cause the accident, it wasn't totally her fault.

I never said I felt more badly for the bird. of course I felt more badly for op. was it really that necessary to flip out over it?

RaaabbleRabble 0

Dude, calm down. when you see something splat on your windshield, the first instinct is to hit your brakes, whether or not that's a good thing. It just is. It sucks that OP inadvertently caused a car accident, but that's no reason to rage at some random person on the Internet. Click the YDI button like everyone else with that opinion and stop taking those steroids so you can chill out.

luke1998 0

whos tango

geminiwings87 0

Did you eat it? I mean it DID just give itself to you like that. From the sky, to your grill.

milkndstufff 7

why the hell would you eat a bird?

geminiwings87 0

tastes like chicken *shrugs*

'cus chicken is tasty and chicken is a bird. Why eat any meat? It's nice...

milkndstufff 7

watever u say.

geminiwings87 0

he only eats milk and stuff :)

SarahStarzz 0

haha win

geminiwings87 0

Thank you Sarah ••••....'''''':::::-----...,,,,;;;;;:::'•••

milkndstufff 7

you dont make sense to cant eat milk...and i dont c how thats a win.

Ever hear of dairy products that are made from milk? Like yogurt and butter?

milkndstufff 7

but then its not milk anymore...its yogurt and butter dumb shit

You sir, are stupid.

The definition of "eat" is to consume food. Milk is counted as a food and therefore you can eat it.

194: Why is Bob small? Oh how I wish I was as smart as you. D:

milkndstufff 7

no its not retard...wen someone asks you what u want to eat u dont say "milk please"...or you'd sound like an idiot

ArmedcrackerR6 8

Sometimes life can be a bitch.

bsgirls 0

ur a butch

Avenged7Gabe 0

your a retard who can't spell right

Thabb 0

Neither can you...

The irony... You' re, you mean.

KVKdragon 26

wow, you have a mean husband. I do feel sorry for the bird but I still have to feel sorry for you. that would scare me as well if that happened to me. although, I would have pulled over to the side or something to calm down.

Avenged7Gabe 0

wow tango you are an ASSHOLE who probably thinks he's cool because he has a picture of fake abs

95, he probably expects people to think that's a real picture of him even when it's so obviously not. Am I the only one who think the "muscles" on that guy look like poop?

horseracingjocey 0

112 That is funny as HELL!! It made me scroll back up and look at the pic again. You are kind of right lol!!!

Husband....? What?

Husband...? What? O.o

I know right? What husband?

milkndstufff 7

why does your life suck? a life was lost. The bird died not you.

Wow. Shut your mouth

yes but now the bird has no life, so it's life can't suck

Well, who else is to blame? You're not blaming the bird, right?! The poor sucker had a terrible life, and it would be really wrong to judge him for choosing to take destiny in his own wings.

Um. The people behind her for following to close.

It is illegal to follow so closely behind someone that you don't have a chance to slam on your brakes. What if a child ran out in the road, or a deer was in the middle of the street? That's why that law is in place you stupid, ignorant, pox eaten, goat scrumping, moron. Yeah, she probably should have just plowed the bird, but the cars behind her are at fault. But clearly, #48, you're the kind of person who drives so far up someone's back end you can taste the fudge if you open your mouth.

So you're saying she rear-ended herself? Piss off troll.

KingDingALing 9

There's four reasons of why Tango is acting like that. A) He's on his period B) He has something shoved up his ass C) He's just plainly retarded D) Someone took his steroids away There's three things that he should do right now. A) Kill himself B) Kill himself And C) Jump off the top of the Empire State Building Go die. You're the most pathetic person in this world.

ashtonTS 0

Tango, I'd be mad too if I had a small penis...

Wow and this is how people communicate...this conversation should be a FML or rather a FTW.

How is it a for the win?

MrsFail 0

I love your response. :)

It is. Never brake for animals in traffic. You husband's an idiot for laughing though. Even if no one was hurt it's still going to cost him money to fix it and your insurance rates.

It's not. It's illegal to follow too close. If she got rear-ended, then the cars behind her are at fault. But you know, the next time I see a deer, I'll be sure to slam right into it.

hey guys, my name's tango, and I think I'm a legit badass cause I swear at everyone! :D but truth is, I have no friends, so I yell at people on the Internet so they won't be around in person to fuck me up! :D

ashtonTS 0

he probably has a tiny penis...just saying.

"Never brake for animals in traffic" Sorry, pretty sure that's just your opinion rather than the law or an actual driver's ed recommendation. Every recommendation I've heard is that you mustn't *swerve* for animals, but instead, you should just brake (how quickly would depend on the size of the animal and how much damage it might cause, and how much space you have between you and the animal). Eg. if a kangaroo or deer ran out right in front of you, you should slam on the brakes ASAP because hitting an animal that size could injure the occupants of the car, regardless of the traffic. But if it's just a little animal like a rat or something you could just go straight over the top of it because it's not going to hurt anyone.

birds are scary as shit but you could've avoided hitting the cars. YDI

she didn't hit any cars.. the cars rear ended her.