By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 16:41 - United States - Naperville

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
I agree, your life sucks 29 753
You deserved it 3 763

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Principessa101 20

You didn't discuss wanting children before you got married?


Hurt his dreams and his balls. Sorry OP, your wife sounds like a bitch. Hopefully she was joking?

I think that should of been discussed before you guys got married...

It may have been. In my case, my husband changed his mind a bit into our marriage and decided he wanted kids. It was something we had to work through together. I told him before we were married that I was most likely unable to have them. I was told this young and was ok with it. After a few years, he went back to his original stance. However, during that time we did look at all possibilities even though I had not changed my mind. I felt the information couldn't hurt. It only became a sore spot in the marriage when I started feeling pressured into changing my mind. But communication worked.

49, I was really rooting for a Disney ending. Your ending was good too :) I hope you feel much better now :)

63 Ty. But the early diagnosis was right. We compromised with cats and dogs. And my niece and nephew get extra spoiled. All too often this can be a sore spot in a marriage when one person changes their mind. While I think couples need to talk about it, I do feel bad for the men. It can be hard to approach the topic without making the wife feel pressured. A lot of times, the woman has to give up more for a child and may not be ready. We did try but when med costs got too high I said enough. I've always been the type that felt if it happened then great if it didn't then great. There are positives to both though. Good luck to op and wife on open discussions and hearing out and considering the other's side so a decision is made that they both can feel comfy with.

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112 pain of getting flicked in the balls < pain of squeezing a person the weight of a bowling ball out of your ******. It's like you trying to squeeze a marble out of your penis.

100, The perfect solution is to get a surrogate mother, its a win for everyone! If you have any attractive sisters I think this could turn into something magical...

I agree with you; I just felt like instigating a debate. :)

Hope you gave her a swift kick in the gunt! I don't know why women think it's ok to hurt the boys.

122 op didn't say his wife didn't want to be pregnant, but that she didn't want kids. A surrogate = a baby which someone will need to care for. And 124 what is this gunt you speak of?

iamcoolyo 5

Does any one notice that this dudes caption is the rebel flag?

Actually there have been studies that have found that, in a lot of cases, getting hit in the testicles is just as painful as childbirth, if not worse. The female body is built to bear children, which would make sense. Not saying childbirth isn't painful, but have you SEEN the face of a guy that just got hit in the balls?

Alycion- i know you said you looked at all the possibilities, but maybe you guys should consider adoption instead.

125, My apologies, after checking what I wrote there I realise 'surrogate mother' isn't the word I was looking for. I was trying to suggest he hit it off with the wife's sister, get her pregnant and raise a child with her, while still being in a relationship with his wife...An interesting love triangle if you will. I don't know how I made the connection to surrogate mother, but there it is.

132 I liked the surrogate idea better.

And 131... Again OPs wife DOES NOT WANT KIDS. god people read the fmls. Adopting a kid means they still have a kid. She doesn't want one.

Have kids with somebody else and say, "Problem not solved"

It can be offensive. Personally i would have liked to see everyone in the south executed after the civil war

148 personally i think your a dick and you'd get your ass kicked around here for saying that

150 - Stonewall Jackson was a pussy.

BunchieRules 31

145 - 131 was not talking about OP's wife. She was referring to Alycion, several comments ago.

152 why are you trying to start stuff what are you 2 if stonewall was a pussy why did they give him the name stonewall dumb ass

145- ugh, I think you should read my comment carefully, and take the stick out your ass. I was referring to Alycions commen. To me it seemed like she was talking about her possibilities (or lack thereof) on her reproducing, but she wasn't really clear on whether she didn't want children because she just doesn't want them, or because she knows she can't reproduce. I was simply suggesting that if a family can't reproduce, adoption is a possible solution.

Word 153/159. I jumped the gun and now feel silly. Cables out and it's a thousand degrees out so I've been stalking FML all day in order to avoid going stir crazy. My apologies :)

131 we did consider that as well. It was about that time my health issues showed up. It's not fair for me to take in a child when I have days I can't take care if myself. It's funny how things fell into place for us. I hope op and wife have the same luck. Maybe if I get better ill revisit adoption. There are so many older kids who need a good home.

22cute 17

129 - firstly, there are no such studies and you know it. Who would volunteer to get hit in the balls for a study? And how can pain be measured objectively? It cannot Secondly, labour of childbirth lasts 10-24 hours or more. Now perhaps if you were hit in the balls every 15 minutes for 10-24 hours then, yes, it would probably feel just as painful as childbirth. I can tell you this for a fact: the bowling ball passing through feels like a wonderful RELIEF after 10 hours. That's not even the painful part.

Youngnut18 6

187 - Quite frankly, I don't really think you have the right to talk about the feeling from being struck in the testicles if you are a female and have never experienced it before. But it goes both ways. I don't really think males have the right whatsoever to discuss the feeling from childbirth either, of course, from the lack of experience.

1337Anonymous911 3

Really? I thought it would feel great.

Don't worry about the negative comments or dislikes. your correct and they know it. They're just assholes looking for something to thumb down.

Can't take his comments seriously with his confederate flag...

Can't take you seriously with your hippie attire.

Javee 17

Haha! Hopefully that'll win him some points in court when they're getting divorced..

olpally 32

Exactly... Lol, a hilarious wife, yet, what a bitch...

All it does is that if you have an erection, your penis will lose its erection. OP's wife must have misunderstood the case!

Maybe she's pregnant and that's why she said "problem solved"? Eh, I don't know what else to say. I'd have to know what his wife was thinking when she flicked his balls. (lol)

It's not really solved and now the original poster, hopefully, realized that the future mother of his child(ren) seems to be a complete bitch! Sorry about your balls, original poster. Don't let her near them.

Veratas 9

The quote on your pic. Try Neil young 1978.

Grunge first ruined music. Now its ruining quotes

Whatever happened to sex drugs and rock and roll? Now we just have aids crack and techno.

The sex with all the random people turned into aids. The drugs weren't strong enough so they all started using crack. And the techno just has no excuse

90 - That is almost exactly a description of The Runaways.

@ 55: I know, right. I am a huge Nirvana and Neil Young fan, and I hate when people mistake the original author of that quote! Both men were and are brilliant and have so many incredible lyrics/quotes to choose from--I just wish people would credit them to the correct person!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Maybe she'll warm up to the idea eventually. At this point, I don't want kids (now, or ever).

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I'm not really sure where I was going with that comment. I submitted it too early and then it wouldn't show up till after I couldn't edit it. :P Basically, OP, that sucks, I'm sorry, and maybe she will like the idea of kids some day? :3

-20 yeah that early comment pressure really gets to people it sucks

Hiimhaileypotter 52

No, it actually wasn't pressure to comment early.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I was just offering some hope to OP that maybe his wife will change her mind. Talk to her about it, be open with her :)

43: LEAVE FLUTTERSHY ALONE. She already has tons of animal babies to take care of.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

92, 140 - Awwww thanks guise

Principessa101 20

You didn't discuss wanting children before you got married?

constipatedlady 0

I know right? OP deserves this for not talking about it before marriage or let's say we give him the benefit of the doubt, he changed his mind, still deserves it for getting married without being sure!

Shadow_Phantom 26

Yeah I don't get this either. Before I start to go out with a guy, or even really choose to be together with them, I tell them I am not having kids. Ever.

RedPillSucks 31

They may very well have talked about it earlier. It seems like he changed his mind and she didn't.

25 and all the other idiots with the "YDI for not talking about it before getting married" comments, there's nothing anywhere to say he didn't. Assuming they had discussed it prior to marriage it is not unreasonable to change your mind on such topics as you mature, but it is EXTREMELY unreasonable to say someone deserves being assaulted for broaching the topic with their partner. Even if they hadn't discussed it prior to marriage he still doesn't deserve her bullshit response. If he didn't discuss it before marriage then he deserves to not get his way now. If he did discuss it before marriage he has the right to change his mind - as does she - and be able to discuss this with his partner in a safe environment. The only way he deserves this is for marrying a bitch in the first place.

ash1rose 11

I don't understand why 42 was thumbed down. She's being honest about what she wants.

Since she laughed it seems that they did discuss it before. Otherwise the comment wouldn't seem so funny to her.

naughty101 8

wont be touchin there again in ANY way if you have little monsters running about..haha, love your wife

Haha yeah. That's for sure. But it was a little flick to the balls so it probably shouldn't have hurt.

I heard flicks can sometimes be equally painful as a punch.

togahanavee 1

103, flick yourself in the balls, so you don't make assumptions like that again. It hurts like a bitch.

Ouch! Sorry OP, I hope you can convince her :(

OP shouldn't have to convince her. Wanting kids is something you should want from the beginning, not something someone pressures you into.

Or maybe she could convince him to not bring another person into this crazy overpopulated planet. Adoption is always an option, but at the same time a sweet, loving, caring woman who attacks ones testicles for bringing up the idea of creating another life might not be mothering material. On the other hand she might not be willing to destroy her body for a child, still leaving adoption as a good option.

85, I never understand why anyone thinks adoption is a good substitution for having kids... I get it, its great to be able to nurture and raise a child and all, but unless you generally like other peoples kids anyway it will never be a good enough substitute. If you aren't interested in having kids of your own, the idea of raising someone elses kids is like a slap to the face.

127- Then what happens to all the children that are given up by their parents? I think adoption is a good thing, and being a parent is fulfilling even if it isn't your biological child.

134...I clearly said it's a good thing. It's right there. It's my second sentence. I said I don't really see how it's a good substitute for having a child of your own. The obvious exception being when you are physically incapable of having kids, but it doesn't say anything about that here.

The rational some people have is that bearing a child ruins the mothers body. Although it is a shallow reason it still works. If the biggest reason a woman doesn't want a baby is because she is vain, adopting a kid is a way around that. Some people would rather adopt than have their own kid because the kid up for adoption doesn't have the choice. They would rather nurture someone who already needs parents than create someone new. Go on YouTube, adoption isn't just a human thing. When an animal loses it's mother it's not uncommon for another mother to take it's place. I've seen all sorts of videos of unlikely parents within the animal kingdom.

mekaylahm 0
jellitonoctopus 19

Poke a hole in all of your condoms and Hide her birth control.

Comet_Candy 23

Or, replace the birth control with candy. She'll be less suspicious. He's out of luck if she uses some alternative method.

Shadow_Phantom 26

That's a horrible idea; grounds for divorce, even. If she doesn't want to have kids, she doesn't have to have kids. If OP wants one so bad, he can find a surrogate mother or something.

Like abstinence... And forcing children on someone is the worse idea I've heard all week. You really want to screw up a kids life?

Yeah 44 finding a surrogate mother only gets you a baby. It's not going to make OP's wife want one. That plan only works if he leaves his wife. Simply having kids just because one parent wants them Usually doesn't end well.

If she really didn't want a kid and you forced her to, all she really have to do is get an abortion (not that Im for it, js it) before she give birth. And there is no reason to kill an innocent kid like that. If he really wants a kid, he will just have to talk it out with her and try to convince her. Definitely not force her.