Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML
Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said, "But seriously… No." FML
Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
Today, my husband told me he'd changed his mind and no longer wants children. We already have two kids. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
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Top comments
mpj13 8
It's not really solved
Principessa101 20
You didn't discuss wanting children before you got married?
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Comments (216)
KitGrey 4
Guess it's her uterus her rules.
SkoomaKi 28
She killed your men OP. In cold blood.
shots1996 8
That's a 10 billion plus man army. Gone. Through the course of one swift flick to the nads. It's a terrifying tradgety.
nerdsftw 4
I saw this exact story on an internet comic .... Seriously?! Don't copy stuff, man.
Calyx_fml 22
YDI. This is a discussion you should have had BEFORE you married her. Now you're outa luck. Nnnno kids for you!
gracehi 33
I agree with you, though I wouldn't say YDI.
RogueWarrior869 23
People do change their minds as they get older, including later on in their marriages.
gracehi 33
Well, as long as you let her think the ******** flicking was an effective form of birth control, you should get your wish anyway. Conratulations OP! :)
lifeisoutrages 7
With reactions like that, I would be greatful she doesn't want to help repopulate the earth.
sammyjanette 17
The Earth doesn't need any help. There are way too many people here already.
LadyGore 12
Im going to be honest here. Because you are married I'm going to assume you are older and if your wife is laughing about kids now that may not change and you might be outta luck for children. Sorry OP ):
meethi1742 0
if that's her reaction when she realised you were serious, she's so immature.
truthbringer007 6
What a bitch! I'd divorce her
keshaforever1 14
For not wanting children? Well that's for reasonable -.-
truthbringer007 6
When you want children and your spouse doesn't.... Hmmm I wonder how well that's going to work?
SecsNoises 6
And by your standards the mature reaction towards someone wanting a say in something as serious as having children is to resort to petty namecalling. But since you're apparently such an expert on the subject, do send me an email in 20 years time so I can hear about how your own marriage or marriages have worked out, khx.
truthbringer007 6
Wth are you talking about? Name calling??!!! And for the record I have been happily married for 5 years and have 2 beautiful children!!!
truthbringer007 6
And she is a bitch for a) flicking him in the balls and b) laughing at him for trying to have a serious convo about having children!
truthbringer007 6
I also like how a large majority of the people before and after me have called her a bitch and brought up divorce, yet you singled out my comment... Do tell me how YOUR life is working out...
lonelyharts86 8
You should've punched her in the ovary in retaliation.