Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
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Top comments
lordslaya53 14
Just be happy he didn't eat you
red_headforlife 15
I'd call him an obese asshole and tell him to get the hell out of the seat. What a jerk.
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Comments (130)
Korosuhito 26
Good on you OP, too bad some silly goose took advantage of your kindness. I'm sure the pregnant lady appreciated the gesture.
ctdawes 3
more like a silly hippo
GothickNihilist 15
Or a farting hippo!
HouseElf 13
Hungry hungry hippos!
diving_fml 30
fat is a very real problem. everyone should feel sorry for people who eat to much, wait nope.
happle 21
Obesity is a real disease! You can't really prevent getting fat, now can you?
chefboyarde 7
Yeah you can, it's called working out.
kaseyc 6
-55 Umm yes!?
VIPwhenever 15
Sometimes you can,sometimes you can't. Just depends on the person and how they're living.
dancer4life143 13
It depends on the reason why you're obese. If it's because of a disease (like problems with your thyroid) or because of a medication you have to take, obesity isn't something you can prevent. If you're obese because you sit on your ass eating dunkin donuts and mcdonalds all day, then yes, that's obviously preventable. And the prick that OP had the unfortunate luck of encountering is obviously just a lazy and obnoxious fat ass.
SenselessPattern 12
55 is being sarcastic guys. Come on.
kawaiisakura 12
Don't forget eating healthy. Good way to stay healthy and some healthy foods help boost metabolism
TheChiver 7
I normally try to find the inner beauty in people. But in this case, the man's fat rolls are in the way, so I can't find any.
SApprentice 34
14- For some reason, when I read your comment, I envisioned someone sitting on their knees with hundreds of piles of leaves around them. They have lost their keys in one of the piles. The person is frantically digging and sweeping through the leaves, shuffling around on their knees in search of the lost keys while repeatedly saying with increasing frustration, "I can't find them, I just can't ******* find them!" Except, instead of leaves, it's mounds of bubbly white fat, and instead of keys, they're looking for the compassionate beauty of humanity. ... I've gone insane. I'm very sorry to bother you, goodnight, sir.
TheChiver 7
#35 That comment made me smile. I thank you, good sir!
AngelSpit 18
umm stick your hand between each roll till it comes out perfectly manicured and that means you've found their inner beauty. Why do I feel like I've just said "inside every really fat person is a tiny Asian trying to get out and work in a nail parlour."
CookieLovesBoo 16
:) hey it's always better to give your seat to the penguin right ?
EmberFury 7
Hell no! For all we know, Batman's hiding on the bus waiting to strike! Never show the Penguin sympathy.
happle 21
It's not like pregnant women are going to create life anytime soon or anything.
SoSickWithIt 14
What if that life turned into the 21st century totalitarian dictator of the UNIVERSE!? 0.o *twitch*
Andr913 13
More like F the pregnant lady's life.
Psycho_Babydoll 26
I love your use of the words 'oozed' and 'waddled'. I can't help but wonder though, did no one else on the bus weigh in?
sig4life 18
Pun intended........
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Oh my God, actually no it wasn't xD
Flora_fml 6
Very punny.
PenguinBitch 44
I bet he also played the "disabled" card huh?
Rebi3144 8
I hate when bigger people act like that. I'm bigger, and it gives us nice fat people a bad name. That guy was a true asshole.
SoSickWithIt 14
People aren't stereotyped by their weight. If so, then whoever the stereotyper is, better be Jesus Christ, or God, because those are the only two people that can judge someone. Unless your Bill Gates .. Cuz hes got bank. :p
iSpasticFantasti 14
So you're saying bigger people need to step up and be the bigger person?
slimashli 7
you're bigger and nice, but I think he was more than bigger and probably gas more mental issues than bodily issues, his parents prob spoiled the shit outa him and now he believes he deserves everything without having to contribute to society
Tempest151 11
We probably paid for that fat bastards bus ticket since he's on disability cause he can't control his eating habits. He should have gotten up.
Shrike 24
American tax-payers cover New Zealanders' disability payments now? Wow, that's globalization for ya, I guess.
KariLove20 12
he seems worthless...