Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
lordslaya53 14
Just be happy he didn't eat you
red_headforlife 15
I'd call him an obese asshole and tell him to get the hell out of the seat. What a jerk.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
bigt529 4
fat ass pig.... he needs to learn some god damn respect and be off his lazy fat ass and wait for another..... ******* people with a sense of entitlement
AngrySailor 17
Listens to his gut: "I hear chicken. I hear cola fizz, and mustard and relish coagulating together with french fries and onion rings, but you know what? I don't hear a heart."
TechFire 25
Based on your use of "oozed" and "protoplasm", you sound like a bit of an asshole. Not nearly as much as him, though.
birdierising 16
Beautiful imagery there..."waddled"
dan_in_wi 12
what a fat ****...
Bigger_than_Jesu 5
On an unrelated note, was the pregnant lady dropped off at the bus stop by a woman pushing a golf cart?
IRONMANcsx 1
Twist his nipples. Works everytime on the fatties.
bmerlucci 10
He's ugly
yeongji 31
From the way he behaves, he is only to gain even more pounds. If he keeps it up, karma is going to catch up to him and he will no longer be able to move. I just hope that the pregnant lady and her baby was not harmed when he pushed past her.
U_GotitDude 18
Fat bastard
BellaFurfaro 12
Maybe he should walk instead of getting the bus!