Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a sweet old lady gave up her seat for me in the bus. She lectured the entire bus that seats should be given to those in need, like myself who is "heavily pregnant." I'm just fat. FML
Today, a businessman in his forties tackled me to the ground in an attempt to take my seat on a crowded train. When that didn't work, he called me a fat bitch and gave me the finger. The seat was given up for me because I'm seven months pregnant. FML
Today, I entered the crowded bus and one man sitting in the priority seat glanced at me. Upon seeing my protruding tummy, he quickly offered me his seat. I took the seat. I am not pregnant. FML
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, while taking the subway home, a woman offered me her seat. I smiled and declined. She said she insisted because of my "pregnancy." I was too ashamed to say I wasn't pregnant, so I just took the seat. FML
Today, I got on the bus. Before I could make it to a free seat, the driver hit the gas, and the sudden movement caused me to stumble and accidentally grab onto another passenger for support. She didn't appreciate this, accused me of molesting her, and got me thrown back off. FML
Today, while sitting in a handicapped seat on the bus, an old man angrily approached me and chewed me out in front of everyone for not leaving the seat empty for "those who actually need it." Then he stormed off the bus, stepping heavily on my broken foot. FML
Today, as I stepped into a subway car, I noticed some free seats and began walking towards them. A group of girls standing nearby looked at me, then at the seats, and made a run for them. They then high-fived, presumably as congratulations for sitting down before the pregnant lady could. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
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Top comments
lordslaya53 14
Just be happy he didn't eat you
red_headforlife 15
I'd call him an obese asshole and tell him to get the hell out of the seat. What a jerk.
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Comments (130)
Chris20003 17
I'd say kick his ass but you would probably lose a foot.
WizardJeremy 13
I'm surprised he didn't die getting a heart attack after walking an inch to the seat...you should have kicked him off, let him suffer sitting on the ground. That woman was carrying human life, I'm pretty sure the man was carrying life too....type 3 obesity and bacteria
KiddNYC1O 22
The ride to the Cheesecake Factory is a long one.
SoylentCandycorn 10
I would have told him: "She's has another human life inside her. The only thing inside you is cake and cholesterol!" But he probably would have gone whining about being oppressed. I really can't stand the entitlement of some people.
Bunny21 11
Lmfao!!!! You gave an awesome selection of words to depict the whole situation perfectly!!!
SunTzu2 9
Karma works! You did a good deed and he's just getting more and more obese
Sunkistlover718 21
"oozed" ...ewwie.
meegal 12
I hate fat people so much... being fat isn't a disability. It's laziness. Go for a walk every once in a while, it's not hard. Or how about you not stuff your face at every meal. Don't have 5ths or 6ths. I don't understand how someone can look into a mirror and see themselves like that and say "... i'm ok with this." It's disgusting and unattractive. And all fat people do is make excuses for when they're fat, they blame everything but themselves.
ideasrule 13
Depending on how obese he was, he might be right. Of course, that doesn't justify his behavior, but he really could have needed it more.
doml510 1
I would of Mcslapped him