Run for the hills!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 190

You deserved it 262

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Same thing different taste

Increase school funding, please?

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 20:00

Today, my teacher began to explain Veterans' Day and why it's on 11/11 to a new student from Iran. He said he already knew, but this was news to almost everyone else in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 06:58 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 915

You deserved it 3 145

By DexiCola - 11/08/2016 17:02 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my manager where the clearly-foreign customers were from. She said she didn't know, but she thought they were from ISIS. She wasn't trying to be funny, she thought ISIS was a country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 869

You deserved it 984

By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 358

You deserved it 2 240

By whoops - 01/08/2014 20:45 - United States - Vincennes

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 366

You deserved it 25 985

Tense

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 17:00

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend, who I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 310

You deserved it 256

By someonepleasehelpme - 18/07/2014 16:49 - United States - Centreville

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 845

You deserved it 5 916

By damnit - 27/10/2008 09:08 - United States

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 097

You deserved it 5 380

By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 098

You deserved it 1 982

Death Grips

By Anonymous - 03/03/2020 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I knew my girlfriend's dad owned a security company. What I did not know was that he treats his employees like family, so my girlfriend has about 40 scary uncles who’ve known her since she was a baby, and most of them are ex-military. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 116

You deserved it 408

Ambrily 27

Monday 30 March 2020 20:10

And you're still with her why?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 March 2020 18:07

What an ignorant imbecile! She should ask you how to storm an embassy and keep people hostage for 444 days.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 March 2020 18:07

What an ignorant imbecile! She should ask you how to storm an embassy and keep people hostage for 444 days.

Ambrily 27

Monday 30 March 2020 20:10

And you're still with her why?

Aiden89 23

Monday 30 March 2020 20:22

You mean your soon to be ex?

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 30 March 2020 20:48

i feel like you should have seen the red flags

Alex Gruber 5

Monday 30 March 2020 20:53

Ask her about a random false flag that the US committed and tell her "how come you don't know, since you're "one of those people"...

newwitch2010 11

Monday 30 March 2020 22:18

Time to dump her I think.

WistayShlaio82 13

Tuesday 31 March 2020 2:04

I’m assuming your girlfriend is white and from California originally

bloopaloop 27

Tuesday 31 March 2020 4:00

From California, I agree. Besides that, you’re a racist nazi

rhett 5

Tuesday 31 March 2020 14:09

I think she might have been a racist. (Doesn’t matter had sex)

thatRdude 4

Thursday 2 April 2020 5:30

Thats ****** hahaha

jk_waks 20

Thursday 2 April 2020 18:28

Islam is a beautiful thing, and i’m a Hindu! Pandemic affects all faiths and religions equally. We seriously need to stop generalising!!

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The Top

Today, I realized that I will never be able to buy the car I've wanted since middle school. The car? A greyish-silver Volvo, which is the make and color of car Kurt Cobain drove. The reason? I've been informed that it's also the make and color of the car that Edward Cullen drives in Twilight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 797

You deserved it 11 218

Today, I have to close my bedroom door with a bucket because I don't have a door latch thanks to previous owners. When my partner and I were going at it, we had to stop because the cat kept reaching around the door, trying to attack the bucket and destroying the mood. Cat 1 - Humans 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 241

You deserved it 1 186

The Top

Today, I placed an order at a fast food joint, when the elderly lady behind me cussed me out for ordering the same thing she wanted. She ranted that I was a "dirty thief", while everyone else glared at me as if I was holding up the line. What the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 629

You deserved it 3 150

Today, I feel so lonely I talked to the likely scam number that called me. Even then they hung up after 2 minutes of talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 181

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 169

You deserved it 4 568

Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 369

You deserved it 3 155

Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 1 709

Today, my son screamed at me to fuck off. Apparently, because he only gets one day off a week, he’s sick of me saving up all my projects and forcing him to help me on that one day. He’s now barricaded himself in his room with a big DO IT YOURSELF on the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 2 719