Run for the hills!

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 17:00

Today, my girlfriend asked me the details for al-Qaeda's plan during 9/11 for an essay. I had no idea and she said she just expected me to know, since I'm "one of those people." I'm Iranian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 165

You deserved it 248

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Same thing different taste

Increase school funding, please?

By Anonymous - 07/03/2020 20:00

Today, my teacher began to explain Veterans' Day and why it's on 11/11 to a new student from Iran. He said he already knew, but this was news to almost everyone else in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 347

You deserved it 204

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 06:58 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 901

You deserved it 3 142

By DexiCola - 11/08/2016 17:02 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I asked my manager where the clearly-foreign customers were from. She said she didn't know, but she thought they were from ISIS. She wasn't trying to be funny, she thought ISIS was a country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 860

You deserved it 979

By anonymous - 06/09/2016 03:05 - United States - Monroe

Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 335

You deserved it 2 233

By whoops - 01/08/2014 20:45 - United States - Vincennes

Today, my girlfriend's dad returned home from deployment. Being the grade A fucktard that I am, I got flustered and asked, "So um, did you make it back?" He looked me dead in the eyes and said completely deadpan, "No, obviously I died. Moron." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 359

You deserved it 25 957

Tense

By Anonymous - 23/05/2020 17:00

Today, my dad happened to mention he proposed to his girlfriend, who I had no idea he was dating. Turns out it's one of my old high school teachers, specifically the bitch who hated me as much as I hated her. My dad is so oblivious, he has no idea WWIII is about to start in our living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 285

You deserved it 231

By someonepleasehelpme - 18/07/2014 16:49 - United States - Centreville

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 822

You deserved it 5 910

By Anonymous - 11/09/2015 10:51 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, while blissfully unaware that it was the anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, I was making paper airplanes during my free period in school. Next thing I know, I was reported for, "making jokes about the 9/11 attacks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 471

You deserved it 8 859

By damnit - 27/10/2008 09:08 - United States

Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 080

You deserved it 5 374

By Secret Isis supporter - 19/11/2015 00:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 086

You deserved it 1 980

Ambrily 27

Monday 30 March 2020 20:10

And you're still with her why?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 March 2020 18:07

What an ignorant imbecile! She should ask you how to storm an embassy and keep people hostage for 444 days.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 30 March 2020 18:07

What an ignorant imbecile! She should ask you how to storm an embassy and keep people hostage for 444 days.

Ambrily 27

Monday 30 March 2020 20:10

And you're still with her why?

Aiden89 23

Monday 30 March 2020 20:22

You mean your soon to be ex?

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 30 March 2020 20:48

i feel like you should have seen the red flags

Alex Gruber 5

Monday 30 March 2020 20:53

Ask her about a random false flag that the US committed and tell her "how come you don't know, since you're "one of those people"...

newwitch2010 11

Monday 30 March 2020 22:18

Time to dump her I think.

WistayShlaio82 13

Tuesday 31 March 2020 2:04

I’m assuming your girlfriend is white and from California originally

bloopaloop 27

Tuesday 31 March 2020 4:00

From California, I agree. Besides that, you’re a racist nazi

rhett 5

Tuesday 31 March 2020 14:09

I think she might have been a racist. (Doesn’t matter had sex)

thatRdude 4

Thursday 2 April 2020 5:30

Thats ****** hahaha

jk_waks 20

Thursday 2 April 2020 18:28

Islam is a beautiful thing, and i’m a Hindu! Pandemic affects all faiths and religions equally. We seriously need to stop generalising!!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over five hours. Slightly tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. When I finished work two hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 080

You deserved it 4 159

Today, I was on my period, so I felt a little emotional, and asked my boyfriend for some attention. He said he needed ten minutes to finish his game with his friend. I laid down on the floor and started crying hysterically. He broke up with me and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 846

The Top

Today, I was having a romantic conversation with my boyfriend under the stars. He said, "You know how there are people who are beautiful on the inside and people who are beautiful on the outside? Yeah, well you're one of those 'inside' people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 718

You deserved it 4 618

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 233

You deserved it 14 712

Today, I had to listen to my classmate loudly argue a question she got wrong on a test for half an hour, repeating the same incorrect argument ad nauseam. She screamed at the rightfully exasperated teacher for being "biased" when he gave up, and started screaming again when I tried to explain it in a different way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 875

You deserved it 100

Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 652

Today, I was cuddling with the girl I've been seeing for the past few months. She was saying how much she liked me and how much I meant to her. Reciprocating those feelings, I asked her to be my girlfriend. It was a HARD no for her. Then she drove me an hour and a half home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 260

You deserved it 299

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 650

You deserved it 3 953

Run for the hills!

Same thing different taste

Increase school funding, please?

Tense

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