Intimacy: Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my...

By Anonymous - 15/12/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and pee. He pulled me close to him and whispered, "I bet you're naughty but you feel so nice." I looked dumbfounded at him as he winked and yelled, "You're on my list." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 595

You deserved it 4 331

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Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By HOe HOe HOe - 02/11/2011 02:36 - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 082

You deserved it 16 264

By pops up - 01/12/2011 22:25 - United States

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 358

You deserved it 10 643

By hotmommy - 20/12/2010 00:23

Today, I went to the mall with my daughter. She asked me if she could go see Santa, so I said yes. She made me sit on his lap with her, and that's when I felt something on my bum. Let's just say Santa had a present for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 230

You deserved it 6 625

By Loola - 21/12/2008 05:04 - France

Today, Father Christmas touched my ass in a shopping mall. I'm a bit worried about what's going to happen on Christmas Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 2 540

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 929

You deserved it 2 820

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 278

You deserved it 5 627

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 052

You deserved it 4 407

By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 008

You deserved it 6 150

By evil Santa - 25/12/2014 03:48 - United States - Solon

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 143

You deserved it 3 207

By ww2freak - 14/06/2012 01:17 - United States - Centreville

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 946

You deserved it 27 343

kindlystfupls 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:01

gotta love Creeper Clause.. FYL. go take a shower and scrub away as much dirty as you can! lol

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 15 December 2010 12:22

Lol. Creeper Santa has got some awesome lines. Can't blame him though. It is after all Santa's MO to go around emptying his sack down your chimney. ;-)

Comments

monzach 5

Thursday 16 December 2010 7:38

aww, you've got a new boyfriend!

Monkeyseemonkeyd_fml 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 8:25

Holy crap what has santa come to? You must be one of his ho ho hoes!!! Haha…

dramaa 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 9:00

sounds made up to me

shockattack2 0

Friday 17 December 2010 2:43

Now that is the most badass Santa I have ever heard of

angrynegro7 16

Friday 17 December 2010 7:58

You really have to be careful. Next thing you know, you're in the dressing room of the of the big woman's section of the store, with Santa's dick in your ass, and he's whispering in your ear, "You ain't gonna shit right for a week!" Oh, and yes, the store manager knows....