By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 00:31 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
I agree, your life sucks 9 158
You deserved it 21 502

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I've never heard testicles called "ladies" before, but yup, you definitely harassed them.

Every man can relate to the pain of sitting on one's own balls

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Every man can relate to the pain of sitting on one's own balls

No, not me. Me and my balls have been through a lot together, but I've never sat on them. They did get pretty mad at me for going horseback riding in gym shorts.

22- I was a horseback rider for most of my life. Some bad experiences there. Mostly from jumping

Lol that sucks. Even as girls jumping (and bareback) can be quite painful. >_

#22, to be clear, I hadn't planned on going horseback riding in gym shorts, the opportunity to ride just popped up all of a sudden. It was a sperm of the moment decision.

"Through no fault of my own..." - someone else sat on your balls for you?

My balls don't sag that much that I've ever sat on them. So far I can't relate and I'd love for it to stay that way. It'd probably be horribly painful.

@30, especially when the horse has high withers. that's the worst!

*sigh* Well I certainly feel your pain, bro.

winkydog4056 16

#63_I'm soooo happy to see your comment! I immediately thought of you when I read this FML. Is this poster your twin brother or related to you?

winkydog4056 16

#1_What if a woman sat on your balls?

I think OP is an older man hitting on young girls. I've never heard of any young guy sitting on his balls but my dad has told me he's done it a few times.

I've never heard testicles called "ladies" before, but yup, you definitely harassed them.

What a ball-sy move.

You must be quite the ladies man..

I'm sorry for creeping but WHAT DO YOU HAVE AGAINST SIDNEY CROSBY?!

You've got the weirdest profile descriptiom I've ever seen.

I think 3's profile is quite entertaining! Strange in the best possible way lol

3 sounds like the type of person I'd be best friends with. :3

3- lol your description is amazing. Will you marry me?

winkydog4056 16

#37_Da fuq does hockey do here?

Umm I am scared for Crosby's life. FHL!

Your poor boys.

Maybe you should ice your ladies and take a breck from clubbing

What exactly is a breck?

Yes but since nobody cares about England, we can safely say it was a typo.

It's how you type break with a Scottish accent...

Breck = brain wreck... Like when you use the word breck.

There is no greater pain than sitting on ones testicles.

You could get castrated... Just sayin'.

My comment got posted twice for done reason, I apologize!

Nope. Sorry. Totally your own fault.

What is he gonna do? Shift his balls away from the stool?

Well they were between him and the seat, so shifting them away sounds like a smart thing to do.

How does sitting on your own balls count as harassing ladies?

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Maybe he just started swearing a lot? It's weird.

Holy Shit we typed the same thing at the same time LOL

It's probably the first thought that comes to mind with most people!

or screech like a girl!

How does sitting on your balls translate into harassing women??

Maybe the "ladies" in question aren't the ones he was after...

Your username goes awkwardly well with your comment.