Love: Not now, Kevin

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 339

You deserved it 2 681

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Same thing different taste

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 572

You deserved it 4 654

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 4 101

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 060

You deserved it 5 165

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 373

You deserved it 4 926

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 860

You deserved it 3 114

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 656

You deserved it 6 740

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 282

You deserved it 13 765

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 137

You deserved it 8 808

By lucy - 03/03/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 622

You deserved it 6 134

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By eakthegeek - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 793

You deserved it 7 077

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 2:19

were you ******* David Attenborough by any chance?

iamireland 1

Tuesday 16 March 2010 22:10

The fact that he can even THINK about male-birth while having sex with you is a sign that he's a keeper.

Comments

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 2:19

were you ******* David Attenborough by any chance?

naehappening 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:12

hilarious! :D also... i love seahorses. i might almost enjoy a chat about them mid intercourse

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 13:22

LOL! At least he didn't yell someone else's name... right? Haha.

claireful 4

Tuesday 3 May 2011 7:39

unless he named the seahorse...

lucidity 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:01

but...that's awesome! I have those kinds of conversations with my boyfriend all the time.

JeanNe91 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:51

haha, one time as i was having sex with a guy, we were talking about disney characters. lmao.

j_e_m_8_8 0

Friday 6 March 2009 8:23

#12..while having sex?!

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:45

Hmm...do you have a big nose?? were you watching the Oprah about the pregnant man?? Is his last name Costeau??

leadninja 0

Monday 16 March 2009 6:08

doesnt that mean he would have to be pregnant?

diet_cocaine 0

Friday 20 March 2009 7:01

well ur bf sounds like a functioning retard

randomcharacters 0

Friday 3 April 2009 5:33

Ahaha a talker.. At least the sex will never be boring, it will be a welcome break from all the talking.

apathetic 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 16:50

sounds like you're dating a nerd. awesome.

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Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 99

Today, at work at an OB office, I heard a ruckus in the hallway before a very large woman burst into my room and tried to attack my very pregnant patient. Crazy lady is the wife of the pregnant lady’s baby daddy, who is nowhere to be found. I don’t get paid enough for this shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 72

The Top

Today, my best friend is giving me the silent treatment and has blocked me on Facebook. All because I missed her 30th birthday dinner at The Cheesecake Factory. I’d gotten into a car accident earlier and had to be treated for minor injuries in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 246

You deserved it 100

Today, after finally falling asleep, my boyfriend woke me up and got extremely mad at me. My offense? My pillow was touching his side of the bed. After yelling at me, he's now sleeping on the couch, and I'm lying in bed wide awake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 583

You deserved it 3 136

Today, I won a raffle organised by a friend. I discovered one of the "prizes" was actually a present that I had given to her, that she had "loved". When I asked her where she had gotten it, she said, "Oh, just some crap someone gave me once." She didn't even remember that I had given it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 169

You deserved it 3 732

Today, a stranger at the grocery store rubbed my belly and asked me when I'm due. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 530

You deserved it 265

Today, I found out that if you let your son install a new shower head, he won't tighten it properly. So when you turn the shower on, it will shoot out at rocket speed, hitting you in the face. Then when you grab the shower handle to prevent yourself falling backwards, you will just rip that out and hit your head again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 328

You deserved it 5 325

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend because we’re not on the same page. He doesn’t want to get married or have kids because he “wants to enjoy his youth” and “you’re only young once, don’t waste it!” He’s 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 227

Not now, Kevin

Same thing different taste

Sexy catboys rule my life

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