Love: Not now, Kevin

Not now, Kevin

By Noname - 16/01/2009 17:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 318

You deserved it 2 671

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 546

You deserved it 4 641

By shopper242 - 22/11/2010 12:29 - France

Today, my boyfriend compared my orgasm to that of a beached sea turtle. He demonstrated what he meant in front of all our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 909

You deserved it 4 097

By journey_Jeanne - 08/12/2011 02:31 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 028

You deserved it 5 153

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 349

You deserved it 4 918

By fledermausi - 12/06/2012 13:02 - Hungary - Budapest

Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 840

You deserved it 3 109

By Anonymous - 28/11/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was explaining the inner parts of a vagina and how they work. To my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 624

You deserved it 6 736

By Anonymous - 06/06/2009 17:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 260

You deserved it 13 758

Sexy catboys rule my life

By verno02 - 10/08/2010 23:58 - Canada

Today, I was having it off with my boyfriend. He's the kind of guy that likes to keep things interesting. Just as he started climaxing, he began to meow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 109

You deserved it 8 801

By lucy - 03/03/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 616

You deserved it 6 122

By eakthegeek - 10/01/2012 09:36 - United States

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 428

You deserved it 6 906

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 2:19

were you ******* David Attenborough by any chance?

iamireland 1

Tuesday 16 March 2010 22:10

The fact that he can even THINK about male-birth while having sex with you is a sign that he's a keeper.

Comments

Timmytwofinger 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 2:19

were you ******* David Attenborough by any chance?

naehappening 0

Wednesday 5 August 2009 23:12

hilarious! :D also... i love seahorses. i might almost enjoy a chat about them mid intercourse

maiden_girl 5

Sunday 15 February 2009 13:22

LOL! At least he didn't yell someone else's name... right? Haha.

claireful 4

Tuesday 3 May 2011 7:39

unless he named the seahorse...

lucidity 0

Monday 2 March 2009 0:01

but...that's awesome! I have those kinds of conversations with my boyfriend all the time.

JeanNe91 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 23:51

haha, one time as i was having sex with a guy, we were talking about disney characters. lmao.

j_e_m_8_8 0

Friday 6 March 2009 8:23

#12..while having sex?!

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:45

Hmm...do you have a big nose?? were you watching the Oprah about the pregnant man?? Is his last name Costeau??

leadninja 0

Monday 16 March 2009 6:08

doesnt that mean he would have to be pregnant?

diet_cocaine 0

Friday 20 March 2009 7:01

well ur bf sounds like a functioning retard

randomcharacters 0

Friday 3 April 2009 5:33

Ahaha a talker.. At least the sex will never be boring, it will be a welcome break from all the talking.

apathetic 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 16:50

sounds like you're dating a nerd. awesome.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my son is still single in his forties, so I asked him about it. Turns out, because he has his buddies and doesn’t want kids, he hires a house cleaning service twice a month and prostitutes twice a week, so he can’t think of any scenario in which a wife could improve his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 567

Today, the cops showed up to my house and served me a child support order from the girl I had a one-night stand with, and who'd promised me she would abort the baby. All this was two years ago. My wife of three years was in the house and heard everything. She packed up her things and told me she’ll be calling her attorney. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 1 368

The Top

Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 391

You deserved it 2 084

Today, I had my window open while playing my Xbox when my angry neighbour came over and kicked my ass for spying on his wife in the shower. Apparently, my room is opposite their bathroom, but my TV faces the opposite way, so I wasn’t even facing the right direction to be spying. Plus, his wife is ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 134

You deserved it 128

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 367

You deserved it 3 118

Today, I found out I can retire early with a decent pension. My nephew, who I haven't heard from for 10 years, suddenly got in touch to ask how I am and to say how much he has missed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 93

Today, I let my dog outside to play. He shat on three cars, played dead in the middle of the street, and chased my neighbors' cat into a pool. When he came back into the house, he had a note taped to his back saying "IOU 1 lawsuit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 993

You deserved it 25 036

Today, I went out with a friendly guy who's very passionate about the environment and everything was going fine until he asked about my job. I work as a clerk in a plantation company. He went from Mr. Daydream to Mr. Scary because the company I work for is destroying the forest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 243

You deserved it 604

Not now, Kevin

Same thing different taste

Sexy catboys rule my life

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