Today, my daughter ran up to me and gave me a cup. She said it was lemonade that she made with her friend. When I took a sip, she giggled and ran back to her room. It was not lemonade. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML
Today, I was at home, my mom came and saw me holding what she thought was a glass of beer. She took the glass, threw it and slapped me for drinking it. I was drinking Apple Juice. FML
Today, I poured out a glass of apple juice to drink. I threw out a beer can from earlier, and my mom thought I was drinking alcohol, not juice. She scolded me, until I made her physically taste the juice. FML
Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we'd ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 year-old to run to the store. She didn't want to, but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she'd made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML
Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML
Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML
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Top comments
ojosRojos 28
Wouldn’t you smell that it wasn’t before you took a sip? If you’re implying that it was pee, that smell is usually pretty obvious
Mungolikecandy 19
If she offers you chocolate say no.
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Comments (11)
slowhandjp 18
What was it, anyway?
ahabsfan 17
Gatorade looks and smells very similar to lemonade. Honest mistake.
ojosRojos 28
Wouldn’t you smell that it wasn’t before you took a sip? If you’re implying that it was pee, that smell is usually pretty obvious
RichardPencil 32
I'll bet you were pissed!
Mungolikecandy 19
If she offers you chocolate say no.
Electric_Bacon 15
Lmao 😂
mfranks19891989 10
Sound like your daughter ticked you into drinking piss
J15237 25
So out of complete curiousity what did you do to your daughter? I mean obviously she is getting your ass back for something.
DonKingSize 9
gotcha! that's pee
WistayShlaio82 13
If you learn not to trust your daughter ever again I don’t think anyone would hold it against you.
ftcyvunicezs 2
My parents always said wait until marriage and my sisters and i always believed in that until we got older and she said once we turned 18 it was our decision and our bodies.