Sex, Painful, Ironic and Intimacy: Squirting the night away

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 215

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 645

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 227

You deserved it 495 438

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 13 668

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 499

You deserved it 3 283

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 444

You deserved it 797

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 6 897

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 5 103

sunshyne84_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:22

try mouthwash?

red_apples 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:14

Now you're scared of lemons.

Comments

jayhawk63 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 22:49

God, irony is great.

hockeyfanisles1 0

Monday 23 February 2009 2:34

baby u havnt lived till i cum in ur mouth on ur face in ur eye in ur pussy its so good ull like it anywhere i shoot it lmao

lyssypoo 0

Monday 23 February 2009 3:26

haha what are the chances!?!

bumfaceman 0

Monday 23 February 2009 5:49

Ahaha that one cheered me up.

CaptainCrunch_fml 0

Monday 23 February 2009 6:11

#27 I'm sorry you only eat out nasty hoes. I don't smell or taste bad, my boyfriend most definitely doesn't mind doing it. When a guy cums in your mouth, no it does not taste good. You get a huge shot of gooey, loogie like liquid in your mouth. It's not fun. So shut your filthy mouth. And to the OP, if you don't want it in your eye, then don't let him aim at your face or just keep your mouth wrapped around him you idiot.

Andywastook 0

Monday 23 February 2009 13:43

#44: Top be fair your boyfriend is hardly gonna say 'Oh no, not again you taste rank' is he? It does taste pretty awful everytime I've tried it...

MissMoonshine 0

Monday 23 February 2009 22:02

Lemon juice hurts a lot more than cum. Just suck the ****, yo. Also... it's not supposed to taste bad. If it does, maybe the **** needs to be washed first.

FriedChicken 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 5:35

#51, you now own my soul. This post reminds me of that song with that guy 50 cent and he says "I'll melt in your mouth girl, not in your hair"

CallHerAlaska17 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 6:11

I got shot in the eye the other day. It wasn't that bad. Lemon juice sounds way more painful.

vvtumblesbee 0

Tuesday 24 February 2009 7:44

one has to wonder how #27 knows the taste of both =) and "pussy juice" is usually just really salty, although food affects us almost the same way as it affects guys (asparagus vs. berries, etc.). and yeah, it should never taste downright "gross" unless it's a hygiene issue.