Sex, Painful, Ironic and Intimacy: Squirting the night away

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 215

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 645

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 227

You deserved it 495 438

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 13 668

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 499

You deserved it 3 283

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 444

You deserved it 797

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 6 897

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 5 103

sunshyne84_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:22

try mouthwash?

red_apples 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:14

Now you're scared of lemons.

Comments

Roobydo 0

Monday 30 March 2009 1:27

why do all you girls complain about the taste so much? do your boyfriends not shower regularly? my girlfriend can't wait to get down there, but i have the common courtesy to scrub my balls every now and again.

T1A2Z3 34

Tuesday 29 May 2018 12:32

It's more the taste of cum than the dick. Definitely depends on the guy but I'd usually like a drink after. Maybe you eat lots of pineapple and stuff and you taste delicious. I don't know and I don't want to find out. But I don't understand the eye thing.

princess90 0

Monday 30 March 2009 4:30

jsohnn number 27.... are you bisexual? of not how do you know what cum tastes like, cuz its GROsS and ehmm eww cum does def. not taste better than a lemon:s it seems like a lot of ppl that have nicknames that make u seem like a guy are saying cum doesnt taste bad how would u guys know:S

Chocolate_Chunk 2

Monday 31 May 2010 11:06

autofellatio.

maddy_waddy 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 4:16

Don't let him cum in your mouth... otherwise, ******** don't really taste like anything... they just leave a weird coating. You should've like... eaten chocolate! Not a lemon!

adameeo 21

Friday 11 November 2011 16:11

Not a ******* if he doesn't cum in her mouth

MsSoulReaper 27

Saturday 15 June 2013 4:45

If there's a penis in someones mouth and sucking, it's a ******** lol

hope1_fml 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 23:30

why not we just all encourage oral sex in general...bc we all know girls dont get eaten out as often as guys get head...

T1A2Z3 34

Tuesday 29 May 2018 12:34

I dunno what relationship you're in... I think even is best but sometimes for things like sex you don't want to blow the guy because then you can't. The girl however needs head first.

NeeNee_fml 0

Friday 3 April 2009 22:28

One of my favorite quotes: "If God were a woman, cum would taste like chocolate." It obviously doesn't. And I'm sure his junk didn't taste bad, just the cum. The taste of cum (male and female) depends greatly on the food one eats. Swallowing isn't something one actually looks forward to doing. But any good relationship requires doing things you don't necessarily enjoy. So, be nice to your partner eat some sweet fruits if you're hoping to get some. Maybe you'll get lucky more often.