Sex, Painful, Ironic and Intimacy: Squirting the night away

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 215

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 645

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 223

You deserved it 495 436

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 13 668

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 499

You deserved it 3 282

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 444

You deserved it 797

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 6 897

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 5 103

sunshyne84_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:22

try mouthwash?

red_apples 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:14

Now you're scared of lemons.

Comments

lich_fml 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 20:58

Ah man, I hate the taste. D:

Bella_999 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 12:23

dude. your stupid. wtf? just swallow.

idontgetyou 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 20:44

i dont get why guys should tell you before they cum? i dont get told, and it doesn't make me want to throw up. its not a volcano explosion or a tsunami in your mouth or anything. it tastes bad the first time but after that it doesnt. so avoid the lemons, and jsut swallow :).

pronghead 2

Thursday 23 July 2009 5:37

eww bjs. semen down your throat can increase your chances of getting throat cancer. it's just gross. oral abstinance.

Zkenny13 6

Friday 6 January 2012 5:37

Where did you get that information semen consist mainly of sugar. I bet your a jesus freak 12 year old girl aren't you?

midnighthammers 0

Friday 24 July 2009 17:59

facial

i_love_fml_11 0

Friday 31 July 2009 0:20

I'm sorry to hear that! My advice..have him tell you when he's about to cum and either swallow or have something ready for him to cum in (boxers, tissues, sock..whatever). I've never gotten squirt in the eye... And if it tastes that bad, there could be something wrong. Sometimes it tastes different but water or something can easily get it out. What might help is looking up foods that make it taste better. I think eating celery is supposed to help but I'm not positive. lol

kitten1504 0

Friday 7 August 2009 23:16

you are not a real woman, SWALLOW GOD DAMN YOU, mmmmm tastes niiice ;)

misslady3 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 9:06

for everyone who says guys like it better when you swollow my boyfriend has told me many times that me swollowing his cum is not attrative at all..... but i dont let him cum in my mouth, i make him give me a warning and if he doesnt i spit it on him haha