By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
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Top comments

gntfmlingnow 12

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

384 17
DKjazz 20

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

264 7

Comments

gntfmlingnow 12

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

384 17
kittenvks 11

For example, doing the bouncy tic tac thing you see in commercials!!

97 1
tellithowitis 13

It could have been worse... This fml gave me a mental image I will not forget. Thank you ops girlfriend.

27 1
weesnaw_08 7

LOLOLOL. Yeah put that talent to good use.

7 14
Cad6 24

The girl's mom might be part cow. The apple doesn't fall far from the apple tree.

18 6
Cad6 24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
5 39
tellithowitis 13

#80- It's Grammar Nazi time, let's go. If you're going to correct me, at least make sure your sentence is correct...

41 3
Zimmington 21

Lmfao she's a keeper! Not being sarcastic at all, that chick is hilarious!!

18 1
OAAS 0

@92: You didn't put quotation marks around "Grammar Nazi, let's go," so your correction is grammatically incorrect as well.

0 10
tellithowitis 13

#139- You forgot """"""time""""""" so your correction on my correction in is indeed grammatically incorrect as well. Are those quotations okay?

5 1
XtraEzeee 8

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of his correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

0 0
XtraEzeee 8

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of 139's correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

4 5
supersitter 11

Actually 149, you made several. I'm assuming not all of them were on purpose, so bravo.

0 0
gamercanadian 11

Quagmire- how old are you? Girl- 16? Quagmire 18. Your first. Girl- mom. Quagmire- ooh I like where this is going. Giggity.

53 6
jizzwold 21

I've never really understood that joke because the age of consent in rhode island is sixteen.

3 11
BarDownDaily 12

81- Ya, but you can't do it with someone 18 or older.

8 2
xXCherrryBombXx 6

you sir, are extremely unattractive

0 11
Pebbles89 9

Hahaha! I need to try that one day! Next time, give her a puppy kiss!

100 4
AlaskanEskimo34 0

I like how we name kissing techniques after animals. Butterfly kisses, puppy kisses, cow kisses...

29 2
Llama_Face89 33

I can see that. The French can be animals, particularly French Canadians.

44 2
iamyummylicious 14

Those damn French Canadians wrecked my garden this morning. They dug up my bulbs!

21 1
msairhead 8

The awkward moment when you're a French Canadian........

21 5
Zimmington 21

26- What about Eskimo kisses??

11 1
Pebbles89 9

Someone needs to invent one that is super disgusting and name it after something adorable. Lol. Confusion is the best!

8 1
kimmykimkiwi 3

That awkward moment when you girlfriend gives you a cow lick...

96 21
elephantom12 9

Anyone else sick and tired of people saying "that awkward moment when..."

29 6
KiddNYC1O 20

So far, 47 people say no.

9 2
DrJesse 10

As payback,next time you're having sex "doggy style" yell "PRISON SEX!" and stick it in her ass.

46 1
cajekraze 7

I totally agree. When leaning for a kiss, I have meowed, followed by a solid lick. It plays out really cute if done right

4 0
ofdoom 4

is it weird that I had a similar experience earlier this evening?

60 5
DKjazz 20

That depends on exactly how similar your experience was. Did it involve the phrase "cow kisses"? Did your eyeball get licked?

41 4
slushpup9696 12

She sounds fun.

72 3
DKjazz 20

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

264 7
DrNuggetcase 3

I agree. The day a girl gives me a cow kiss is the day I ask her to be my wife.

18 0
Rocky007 15

Did you get the milk for free?

32 7