By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 134
You deserved it 5 088

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See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

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See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

For example, doing the bouncy tic tac thing you see in commercials!!

It could have been worse... This fml gave me a mental image I will not forget. Thank you ops girlfriend.

LOLOLOL. Yeah put that talent to good use.

The girl's mom might be part cow. The apple doesn't fall far from the apple tree.

It's not apple tree it's just tree

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

#80- It's Grammar Nazi time, let's go. If you're going to correct me, at least make sure your sentence is correct...

Lmfao she's a keeper! Not being sarcastic at all, that chick is hilarious!!

That made my day. LOL!

@92: You didn't put quotation marks around "Grammar Nazi, let's go," so your correction is grammatically incorrect as well.

#139- You forgot """"""time""""""" so your correction on my correction in is indeed grammatically incorrect as well. Are those quotations okay?

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of his correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of 139's correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

Actually 149, you made several. I'm assuming not all of them were on purpose, so bravo.

Quagmire- how old are you? Girl- 16? Quagmire 18. Your first. Girl- mom. Quagmire- ooh I like where this is going. Giggity.

I've never really understood that joke because the age of consent in rhode island is sixteen.

81- Ya, but you can't do it with someone 18 or older.

you sir, are extremely unattractive

Hahaha! I need to try that one day! Next time, give her a puppy kiss!

I like how we name kissing techniques after animals. Butterfly kisses, puppy kisses, cow kisses...

Ah yes, the elusive, wild "French"

I can see that. The French can be animals, particularly French Canadians.

Those damn French Canadians wrecked my garden this morning. They dug up my bulbs!

Bâtards...tabarnak!

The awkward moment when you're a French Canadian........

26- What about Eskimo kisses??

Someone needs to invent one that is super disgusting and name it after something adorable. Lol. Confusion is the best!

75 - so true, so true...

I was the 69 th like

@99 - Eskimos are walruses in costume.

That awkward moment when you girlfriend gives you a cow lick...

Anyone else sick and tired of people saying "that awkward moment when..."

So far, 47 people say no.

You should've licked her eyeball back.

As payback,next time you're having sex "doggy style" yell "PRISON SEX!" and stick it in her ass.

that brings back memories...

An eye for an eye?

C'mon, that's awesome.

Only if teeth were brushed!

I totally agree. When leaning for a kiss, I have meowed, followed by a solid lick. It plays out really cute if done right

is it weird that I had a similar experience earlier this evening?

That depends on exactly how similar your experience was. Did it involve the phrase "cow kisses"? Did your eyeball get licked?

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

I agree. The day a girl gives me a cow kiss is the day I ask her to be my wife.

Did you get the milk for free?