FML : Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about...

175

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks

You deserved it

By Brian / Sunday 18 March 2012 02:32 / United States - East Wenatchee

Love

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Top comments

By gntfmlingnow | 12

#4180767 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:17

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways.

If you know what I mean.

By DKjazz | 20

#4180831 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:29

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

Comments

By gntfmlingnow | 12

#4180767 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:17

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways.

If you know what I mean.

kittenvks | 11

#4180929 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:56

For example, doing the bouncy tic tac thing you see in commercials!!

tellithowitis | 13

#4180976 - Sunday 18 March 2012 10:23

It could have been worse... This fml gave me a mental image I will not forget. Thank you ops girlfriend.

weesnaw_08 | 7

#4181673 - Sunday 18 March 2012 15:17

LOLOLOL. Yeah put that talent to good use.

Cad6 | 24

#4181682 - Sunday 18 March 2012 15:23

The girl's mom might be part cow. The apple doesn't fall far from the apple tree.

cali4eva | 12

#4182473 - Sunday 18 March 2012 18:50

It's not apple tree it's just tree

Cad6 | 24

#4182559 - Sunday 18 March 2012 19:15

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

tellithowitis | 13

#4183012 - Sunday 18 March 2012 21:18

#80-
It's Grammar Nazi time, let's go.
If you're going to correct me, at least make sure your sentence is correct...

Zimmington | 21

#4183132 - Sunday 18 March 2012 22:14

Lmfao she's a keeper! Not being sarcastic at all, that chick is hilarious!!

pepkate | 8

#4185253 - Monday 19 March 2012 6:03

That made my day. LOL!

OAAS | 0

#4189912 - Tuesday 20 March 2012 8:20

@92: You didn't put quotation marks around "Grammar Nazi, let's go," so your correction is grammatically incorrect as well.

tellithowitis | 13

#4193350 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 2:41

#139-
You forgot """"""time""""""" so your correction on my correction in is indeed grammatically incorrect as well.
Are those quotations okay?

XtraEzeee | 8

#4194306 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:09

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of his correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

XtraEzeee | 8

#4194320 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:12

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of 139's correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

supersitter | 11

#6010076 - Wednesday 16 July 2014 22:28

Actually 149, you made several. I'm assuming not all of them were on purpose, so bravo.

By palahniukpaul | 6

#4180776 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:19

Giggity

gamercanadian | 11

#4180958 - Sunday 18 March 2012 10:10

Quagmire- how old are you?
Girl- 16?
Quagmire 18. Your first.
Girl- mom.
Quagmire- ooh I like where this is going. Giggity.

jizzwold | 21

#4182585 - Sunday 18 March 2012 19:20

I've never really understood that joke because the age of consent in rhode island is sixteen.

BarDownDaily | 12

#4183031 - Sunday 18 March 2012 21:36

81- Ya, but you can't do it with someone 18 or older.

xXCherrryBombXx | 6

#4555388 - Tuesday 12 June 2012 2:37

you sir, are extremely unattractive

By Pebbles89 | 9

#4180778 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:20

Hahaha! I need to try that one day! Next time, give her a puppy kiss!

AlaskanEskimo34 | 0

#4181027 - Sunday 18 March 2012 10:39

I like how we name kissing techniques after animals. Butterfly kisses, puppy kisses, cow kisses...

Wheredidgrungego | 12

#4181332 - Sunday 18 March 2012 13:04

French kisses :P

ScaughtieHolden | 11

#4181351 - Sunday 18 March 2012 13:13

Ah yes, the elusive, wild "French"

Llama_Face89 | 33

#4181357 - Sunday 18 March 2012 13:15

I can see that. The French can be animals, particularly French Canadians.

iamyummylicious | 14

#4181626 - Sunday 18 March 2012 15:03

Those damn French Canadians wrecked my garden this morning. They dug up my bulbs!

ClassyCommando | 13

#4181948 - Sunday 18 March 2012 16:27

Bâtards...tabarnak!

msairhead | 8

#4182382 - Sunday 18 March 2012 18:21

The awkward moment when you're a French Canadian........

Zimmington | 21

#4183150 - Sunday 18 March 2012 22:17

26- What about Eskimo kisses??

Pebbles89 | 9

#4184278 - Monday 19 March 2012 2:29

Someone needs to invent one that is super disgusting and name it after something adorable. Lol. Confusion is the best!

call4agoodtime | 3

#4184509 - Monday 19 March 2012 3:36

You animal!

sparkrok | 8

#4184919 - Monday 19 March 2012 4:50

75 - so true, so true...

corydac123 | 6

#4194280 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 7:00

I was the 69 th like

iamyummylicious | 14

#4194703 - Wednesday 21 March 2012 9:55

@99 - Eskimos are walruses in costume.

By kimmykimkiwi | 3

#4180783 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:21

That awkward moment when you girlfriend gives you a cow lick...

Zimmington | 21

#4183152 - Sunday 18 March 2012 22:18

*your

elephantom12 | 9

#4183480 - Monday 19 March 2012 0:59

Anyone else sick and tired of people saying "that awkward moment when..."

KiddNYC1O | 20

#4184865 - Monday 19 March 2012 4:41

So far, 47 people say no.

By supimnyancat | 9

#4180794 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:23

You should've licked her eyeball back.

DrJesse | 10

#4181926 - Sunday 18 March 2012 16:25

As payback,next time you're having sex "doggy style" yell "PRISON SEX!" and stick it in her ass.

sparkrok | 8

#4184932 - Monday 19 March 2012 4:52

that brings back memories...

deviable | 9

#4185705 - Monday 19 March 2012 9:11

An eye for an eye?

By Mekeritrig | 15

#4180796 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:25

C'mon, that's awesome.

ladyLALAA | 28

#4181318 - Sunday 18 March 2012 12:54

Only if teeth were brushed!

cajekraze | 7

#4187471 - Monday 19 March 2012 19:53

I totally agree. When leaning for a kiss, I have meowed, followed by a solid lick. It plays out really cute if done right

By ofdoom | 4

#4180803 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:25

is it weird that I had a similar experience earlier this evening?

DKjazz | 20

#4180850 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:33

That depends on exactly how similar your experience was. Did it involve the phrase "cow kisses"? Did your eyeball get licked?

By slushpup9696 | 12

#4180805 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:26

She sounds fun.

By DKjazz | 20

#4180831 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:29

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

DrNuggetcase | 3

#4182542 - Sunday 18 March 2012 19:07

I agree. The day a girl gives me a cow kiss is the day I ask her to be my wife.

By Rocky007 | 15

#4180838 - Sunday 18 March 2012 9:30

Did you get the milk for free?

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