Sex, Painful, Ironic and Intimacy: Squirting the night away

Squirting the night away

By svet - 22/02/2009 02:07 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 502

You deserved it 84 215

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 880

You deserved it 8 645

By KAAALIS - 16/03/2009 02:20 - United States

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738 225

You deserved it 495 438

By fmlpanda - 29/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 851

You deserved it 8 368

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 760

You deserved it 13 668

By Junkrat - 08/12/2016 13:32

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 499

You deserved it 3 283

Really into it

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 22:00

Today, I was having sex with my partner and we got very into it. I went to wrap my hand around his neck and somehow accidentally poked my finger in his eye socket so hard he ended up in emergency. He still can’t see properly out of that eye now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 085

You deserved it 40 021

By eeewww - 21/11/2018 03:13

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated without warning, shooting straight up my nostril. I accidentally snorted it, started choking, and then coughed it up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 444

You deserved it 797

By abc123 - 16/12/2013 16:44 - United States - Marysville

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 524

You deserved it 6 897

By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 5 103

sunshyne84_fml 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:22

try mouthwash?

red_apples 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 5:14

Now you're scared of lemons.

Comments

nsforever138 0

Thursday 23 April 2009 15:41

#27.. nd u would kno this y?

roflcopterzzz 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 6:36

Here's a ******* tip: don't point the **** toward your eye, brain surgeon.

ertw 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:18

wow, I'm not normally a bitch but give your boyfriend ****** blow jobs!!! you realise that you could just ask him to give you some warning so that you could make sure you aren't pointing it in ur eye (not that I know why you would seeing as thats what mouths and **** are for...) and if you think it tastes bad, just spit and gargle some water... I mean we have it easy compared to guys... they don't have a CHOICE but to taste our stuff, and I imagine that some of it tastes pretty bad depending on the chick... ok done being graphic...

ertw 0

Saturday 9 May 2009 2:24

and #21 that happened to me too.. but i ahd just had a yogen fruz... so as vomiting goes it wasn't that bad loll

ImaTrainwreck 0

Monday 11 May 2009 8:23

I think it's hilarious that your fear is getting seman shot in the eye.

that_one_dude 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 2:30

How ironic....right?

Jllybn 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 0:54

You don't have to give ******** if you don't want to it's just a nice thing to do for him. Some of the people on here act like they will die a painful death if they don't have some sort of sex every five minutes. I don't get why people are confused by #27's comment, it's pretty obvious that they said they have done both so why would you ask why do they know that?

Sunchild1235 0

Saturday 23 May 2009 23:33

hehe number 118 your funny! Oh I and if cum DID taste like chocolate their would be a lot of satisfied people in the world...I ******* love chocolate!!!!