Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Crash the party and get that shit baaaack, brosky. The rum, I mean, not the girl.
samanthadude 0
If she isn't interested there isn't much you can do. The faster you move on, the faster you'll find a girl who loves you just as much as you love her. :]
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Comments (140)
07cowboy07 1
that ****!
BrownSugar_fml 5
Why are you buying her alcohol if you won't be around once she's drunk?! Geeebus
sk8r_boiii 0
duuuuuuddde yyyy. did u do that ,, girls will screw u like that , the idea is ****** , but trust me they will
SubjectX 0
ydi because you just let her take it. you need to stop being a pussy and find a new girl, or you will be friend zoned forever.
pardonski 0
lol..."rum" tee hee
Eniiaffection 0
Lol make sure she doesn't have a boyfriend next time maybe? (: just a suggestion OP
meneedlove 0
OP is a loser. Trust me.
NickTM 0
YDI, moron!
lickmyjock 0
So true. And impressing your "love" with a bottle of rum? lol wow... This man got played and it's hilarious. My ex once gave me a jug of rum. What did I do with it? I drank it and hit on her hot sister.
BoredInPE 0
dude. were totally in the same shoes.