Love: Simp

Simp

By Anonymous - 23/06/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 434

You deserved it 39 522

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Same thing different taste

By 1fungi - 07/12/2010 05:25

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 006

You deserved it 5 435

By holla1787 - 04/12/2009 03:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 538

You deserved it 2 818

Inappropriate crush

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 17:00

Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 351

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 163

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 537

You deserved it 2 916

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 406

You deserved it 2 708

By Mazzam - 19/11/2008 11:33 - France

Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 271

You deserved it 18 560

By bbns - 14/01/2009 11:57 - Germany

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 2 797

By Anonymous - 24/06/2011 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 107

You deserved it 4 237

By cdick - 11/03/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 194

You deserved it 5 434

allmidnighteyes 10

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:05

Crash the party and get that shit baaaack, brosky. The rum, I mean, not the girl.

samanthadude 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:06

If she isn't interested there isn't much you can do. The faster you move on, the faster you'll find a girl who loves you just as much as you love her. :]

Comments

blue_eyes4602 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:24

I agree with # 8

abcdefghijKayla 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:25

This happens in all the movies

sammehsaurus 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:25

Why is the rum gone? haha(:

myschyveus 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:27

you know what? know what I would do? do ya? i'd drink the whole bottle in her face. on the spot. with an empty stomach. so I could spew on them both. well maybe not the last part but she would deserve it lol

jessicams 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:30

Seriously dude, get over it.

aardvarkish 15

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:32

She said "Thank you" and you said "You're welcome." Case closed.

TheIrishJaneDoe 8

Thursday 24 June 2010 12:53

Exactly.

VenomxD 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:34

you got USED!! ooh burn! lol YDI for being dumb

luvtruckguy 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:35

stop going after people that aren't into you. even if you did manage to start dating her, it would suck because she would be settling for you. Find someone that is interested in you first. before you get cought up in all of that stuff.

dinosaysrawrz 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:37

wow this is kinda called fml so let him put watever he wants up an stfu

Emrysa 1

Thursday 24 June 2010 9:38

YDI, she doesn't owe you anything. Don't buy her relatively expensive gifts if they have strings attached. You're being dishonest with her, and yourself. I don't know if she's taking advantage of you or not, but at least she's being straight forward about having a boyfriend which is less than you can probably say about your motives.