Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML
Today, a week after my 10-year anniversary, I realized I've somehow been roped into hosting my husband's crush's birthday party with all their friends. My gift to myself was a $60 bottle of whiskey that won't arrive in time to help me with my debilitating social anxiety. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, it's my birthday and my friends and I went to our favorite pub to celebrate. As I'm a little broke at the moment, they all offered to buy me birthday drinks. Which I later learned meant that they would order them for me and bring them to the table, but put everything on my tab. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend told me he was too busy studying for finals, but that he'd take me out another day instead. He later drunk-dialled me from a party demanding a lift back home. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to exchange presents for our birthdays. I spent $100 on perfume and Victoria's Secret clothes. She bought me a bag of lifesavers, then asked me to leave because she wanted to take a nap. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Crash the party and get that shit baaaack, brosky. The rum, I mean, not the girl.
samanthadude 0
If she isn't interested there isn't much you can do. The faster you move on, the faster you'll find a girl who loves you just as much as you love her. :]
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (140)
blue_eyes4602 0
I agree with # 8
abcdefghijKayla 0
This happens in all the movies
sammehsaurus 0
Why is the rum gone? haha(:
myschyveus 0
you know what? know what I would do? do ya? i'd drink the whole bottle in her face. on the spot. with an empty stomach. so I could spew on them both. well maybe not the last part but she would deserve it lol
jessicams 0
Seriously dude, get over it.
aardvarkish 17
She said "Thank you" and you said "You're welcome." Case closed.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Exactly.
VenomxD 0
you got USED!! ooh burn! lol YDI for being dumb
luvtruckguy 0
stop going after people that aren't into you. even if you did manage to start dating her, it would suck because she would be settling for you. Find someone that is interested in you first. before you get cought up in all of that stuff.
dinosaysrawrz 0
wow this is kinda called fml so let him put watever he wants up an stfu
Emrysa 1
YDI, she doesn't owe you anything. Don't buy her relatively expensive gifts if they have strings attached. You're being dishonest with her, and yourself. I don't know if she's taking advantage of you or not, but at least she's being straight forward about having a boyfriend which is less than you can probably say about your motives.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
I agree. This stinks of emotional hijacking to me.
tencentsakiss 19
AND the fact that she brought her boyfriend with her probably means she's uncomfortable around you without him