Inappropriate crush

You'd better get to a liquor store and buy lots of whiskey.

Not only do you need to surmount your anxiety, you're also going to have to be in a threesome!

Can someone explain this to me? Is this a thing that happens when ur married

Not if you're married to someone who isn't a total dick.

They could be in a polyamorous marriage

No offense but alcohol does not solve anything. It will make things worse if you get addicted to it.
Talk to your husband and get his help instead.

A moderate amount of alcohol can help with mild social anxiety without fear of addiction.

Obviously, severe cases must be treated differently.

Sounds like you need to have a discussion with your husband. having your wife host your crushes party, I can’t tell if it’s ballsy or a lack of respect

dump his as!!!

Your husband has a crush? As in, on an actual person he can have contact with and not a celebrity he'll never meet? And he's throwing her a party and roping you into it? I don't think you should have to contribute anything, but you shouldn't be burying your problems in alcohol, either. May be time to see a counselor.

Or better choice, divorce attorney.

Wait, how are you hosting any party with social anxiety, much less one for someone your husband has a crush on?

Just say NO.