Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
Go over and shake her hand in greeting.
glittercookies 12
Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!
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Comments (224)
maddithegreat 0
The question is.. did you continue to masrurbate after you saw her? and if so.. did she continue to watch? This could be the start of a beautiful relationship.
MDTeddy 13
She just kept on looking. ;]
LadyJoker21 0
WTF it's nature for a man to jack off oh the fqk well bitch shouldn't have been creepin in your window what u should a did is called the police and said I got a peepin Tom !!! Shit that's ur space ur house !!
1happymummy 14
You can do what you like in your own home (although its best to draw the blinds) but she had no right to be looking through your window!
wlddog 14
No point in an introduction now. She has knows you pretty well at this point. Next time you see her tell her it's her turn to let you look in her window.
Vkins 9
Weird thing. Well, it IS an awkward situation but she shouldn't act all disgusted. It's a thing everyone has done at least once; even herself. She should've just shrugged it off and walked away. Anyway. Close the blinds next time.
skatecboy45 8
Woo! Go Oregon. Lol
KatieKupcake4195 9
I love how SHE was looking in disgust. I mean, sure you may have had your blinds open but she didn't have to look and it's not like you sent her an invitation that said "You are cordially invited to be my honoured guest in watching me **********, just before noon tea."
saidawhiting 14
Of course he would have sent no such invitation. Tea is at 4 PM.
drawmyhearton_fml 3
But why disgust? This isn't something I particulary enjoy, but it's normal and pretty much everyone do it. I just would have walked away, maybe with a O_O; face because it IS a pretty awkward situation! And I guess there's no need to introduce yourself now!
SoultheWolf 19
I don't really get why people think its so disgusting if someone is wacking off. A man has to release, and if they aren't getting sex this is the only other methed (aside from sex dolls or pocket *******). But if you are by a window and the curtains aren't closed then you COMPLETELY deserve this. Next time make sure there is no way for someone to walk in. The one thing I can't understand though, is why the **** was she stareing and watching you if she thought it was so disgusting?