By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 693
You deserved it 36 448

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Top comments

"wanna know how I got these scars?"

HondaKidd 5

Buahaha! Derp

Comments

n530411351 9

Guido Win

HondaKidd 5

Buahaha! Derp

Prime example of natural selection?

Telescope 1

You had enough time to catch it but not move your foot? Nice.

#11 Get your own comment.

I'm sorry if my reply annoyed you, but I think a lot of people are guilty for replying to the first comment. My reply was generally still on topic :/

Discombobulated - your comment is a prime example of thread jacking and attention whoring. It isn't "on topic" one bit.

Dare I challenge DocBastard? Of course! He was defiantly on topic. He was probably referring to how natural selection is not always best as this FML shows.

He was DEFINITELY (not defiantly) off-topic on the comment to which he replied. If you want to make a new comment related to the FML, then start a new thread rather than threadjacking the first comment just to get near the top. That's attention whoring and nothing more.

Well played sir, well played.

Bahaha tool. Derp is a 90s word. Why do you talk like everyone else you robot?

DocBastard He was replying to #1 calling OP a derp. He suggested that it was natural selection that only derps get in stupid accidents like this. Hence, he was on topic. Don't try to act like a smartass. It's not very attractive.

#108 Did you just insult DocBastard? Uh-oh...

Awes0meperson 10

107 - Actually, derp has become pretty popular now. I learned it this year. You need to get out more…

#115 I'm not trying to insult anyone. I'm just stating the obvious.

This is why people don't fist bump, just look what happened to Snooki.

effffyourlife_ 0

135 , that just made my year.

You may need to go back to Common Sense 101. FYL for ruining an amazing ninja moment.

Haha! Lucky u!

That was such terrible sarcasm.

You mean terrible "Scarcasm" ;)

Ha I just used that pun a couple comments down...

Wow.... People these days can't take a joke

Oh we do, just not tragic jokes like the one you just said....

Oh we do, just not tragic jokes like the one you just said....

failgamer 7

Have you ever heard or seen a stereotype for mentally ill people when they cup their hand and smack the part of the chest over their heart? Well you did that with a knife to your face

TheDrifter 23

Might not be a good idea to tell op that, they might try it with the knife still in hand.

failgamer 7

You are probably right, not sure why people would thumb down this comment though

Meh I don't think 4 was all that funny, or funny at all. I have a mentally ill brother but he never does that. Asshole

I agree with 81, number 4's comment was incredibly insensitive.

failgamer 7

Notice how i said stereotype dumbass, quit hating on sarcastic joke comments, it isnt there to offend

How does this happen...

Thats what i thought. That's some seriously hardcore fist pumping! "Let us fist pump...to the death!...this is Sparta!!!"

I blame Jersey Shore

nofearjenshere 12

Who in their right mind fist pumps with a knife in their hand in the first place? lol. That's just asking for a trip to the ER.

I suppose I shouldn't be one to judge, I did step on a knife. Yes. Stepped on it.

"wanna know how I got these scars?"

No, Im just a joker.

yaoifreak 8

OMGOSH I freaking love the joker I'm now watching dark night and I'm going to watch it again just because of this comment?

WLCD123 0

"No,but I Know how you got these!"

#93 That's just sad...

#67, why is your nose the profile pic?

mandadarling 10

Face Chopping Like Champs

BornToFlyThenDie 0

I think you mean. "Like a boss."

I think she means "Face Chopping Like Champs".

DontModMeDammit 10

*quack...quack*..........*boom!*

OP is a meat head.

What's next? Running with scissors?

Tying a cloth round your neck and jumping off tables and chairs?

Reading FMLs/books/tabloids/ something else even though your in a dangerous place( I know someone like that)

ChrisTheCalm 9

45- why do people always have to have 'FML' as an example of their idiotic jokes?..

kate12345678901 15

i was gana

toenibbler 14

For future reference I suggest you put the knife down first before proceeding into you manic victory dance.

toenibbler 14

*your

Mental1942 6

Just sayin

Sounds like a personal problem to me.

FMLandurstoo 9

Well that's why they posted it on fml dumbass.