Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
Go over and shake her hand in greeting.
glittercookies 12
Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (224)
KiddNYC1O 22
**** that. It's your home. She's a creep for staring.
BunBunBabe 8
SO AWKWARD haha close your curtains but don't feel so bad, almost every one does it
amaru92 0
you should've ran up to her and busted a nut all over her face.... hahahahahahahahahahahah
br0ccoli 15
You've got a peeping Tom neighbor! I mean, you were in your house, not the front yard!
WhoaItsKiernan 4
I think she's the true creep here. She was the ond looking in your window.
HolaJessicaHola 0
She peeked, therefore that's what she gets.
megan1rose 4
She loved it really that's why she carried on watching :)
Funny14u 0
Tell her "sex can wait, **********."
BostonBruinsFan 8
43-your pic needs bars and a pair of cuffs...sorry for being off topic *hears the flood of thumbing down*
Twisted_Angel 17
Wtf was she standing there watching for? She sounds like a perv. Next time open the window and ask if she wants to help since she's just standing there with her mouth open anyways.