Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I sat on the toilet, I heard a noise outside. I peered through the window and found myself staring directly at my neighbor. FML
Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "You know, I'm looking RIGHT at you." FML
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML
Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML
Today, I was masturbating in my bedroom, when suddenly, my mom opened the door and walked in with guests. I didn't react quick enough. FML
Today, while masturbating at the computer, I was interrupted by a flash of light out of the corner of my eye. As I turned to face it, I realized I forgot to close the blinds. Standing at the window in the appartment across the street were two girls, one had a camera and was snapping a second shot. FML
Today, as I was going to bed, I spotted a man staring at my window from a neighbor's yard. Ten minutes later, he was still there. I freaked out, started crying, and contemplated calling the cops. My creeper turned out to be the neighbor's wooden lawn ornament. FML
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
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Top comments
Calyx_fml 22
Go over and shake her hand in greeting.
glittercookies 12
Give her a look of disgust for being a voyeur!
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Comments (224)
onlyme1216 0
Close the curtains next time!!!
ryggsekk 8
you can't deny the options of her being a mom, old or married
meggieeee51 9
Should have asked her to finish the job.
caught1234 0
U can finish for me :)
dukemyster8 4
506 people who read this were guys, 986 were girls lol
Bullettrane 1
the only way this could be any better is if you shot your load right on to the window as she surprised you looking in the window.
sonnyrosa 32
Your neighbor's a perv for looking through the window... walk around naked with the curtains open next time... that'll show her!
writergirl23 19
And why was she looking in the first place, it's your house. Nosy parkers like that you dont need to be friends with, anyway.
kissie87 4
If she was peeking its because she was enjoying it also that's none of anybody's business you are in your house so what ever happen in there is your problem smH people don't know how to mind their business.
spaffler 2
"I have a rule, if you see it you suck it" tell her that and see what happens
Cinny90 7
Oh yeah. I would totally tell her that. Forget my idea and go with this one OP!
linkinpark98 24
Pfft, that was probably the highlight of her day.