Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught the bouquet at her friend's wedding, then shook them in my face like an accusation. I joined in the laughing with everyone else, but it put her in a mood, and she now hasn’t spoken to me in two days. FML
Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
transcedental 18
Somehow.. I.. just wanna give you a hug. Sorry that she didn't appreciate your gesture ;/
thelastavailable 13
She definitely got some on holiday.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (168)
maz95 17
That's so ungrateful. I don't think she appreciates you enough.
zombieslayer83 19
When ya'll get back home make her plant tulips!
Werken247 14
On your organ
abrookec2011 14
12 should have more thumbs up.
zombieslayer83 19
I k ow right?
omgitsshorti 5
Although the girlfriend had an interesting reaction, it's the thought that counts.
lux0rd 18
Exactly. Which is why he shouldn't have been verbaly abused for the gesture.
kingsian 15
Don't trip off that. It's the thought that counts. If she is not materialistic then she would've appreciated her gift.
DocBastard 40
I'd be pissed off and grouchy too if I had to spend several weeks alone with my family.
SoylentCandycorn 10
Doesn't excuse her acting like an entitled, ungrateful little snot at her Super Sweet Sixteen.
hannaaaahr 33
I WANTED A RED CAR, NOT A SCARLET ONE, YOU ARE THE WORST!!!
Pleonasm 36
^ Reminds me of that brony FML
poccocurantes 7
Good luck with Veruca Salt. On the bright side the Oompa Loompas will eventually come for her.
ohcheriecherie 20
Ditto. I do occasionally take my family issues out on my boyfriend. I'm sorry!! Did she apologize and have sex with you later?
U_GotitDude 18
Your girlfriend is a dick.
Atchoo 8
Correct response: "That's because you aren't as pretty as all the other girls."
berichsoon 11
End of relationship
Axipiter 24
After the credits roll, if you stick around to watch the "bonus footage", it'll just be him living the good life without an ungrateful bitch by his side anymore.
evig_fml 16
Beginning of freedom.
SoylentCandycorn 10
If she wants flowers, then maybe she should try acting like a lady and not a spoilt brat.
drewflav 17
I personally would've taken them back from her, told her that she should stop being so nitpicky and instead should have looked in the bouquet for a ring, then made her catch a cab home. She wouldn't have known better if there wasn't actually a ring and it makes her look REALLY bad in front of everyone. Whatever happens after that is moot. Gotta appreciate the little things more!
JoeGrant 12
Just tell her that you at least brought flowers and that you didn't even have todo anything. Hope you set her straight OP.
JoeGrant 12
To do* silly typo...
theboy13 13
Picking her a dandelion from the grass outside doesn't count... Lol
SoylentCandycorn 10
I don't get who decided dandelions were weeds. They're much cooler then half the crap you find in garden centers.
Enslaved 38
I call them wild flowers if they're pretty!(:
evilplatypus 39
24 - And they're useful (dandelion wine, dandelion green salad, playing "momma had a baby and its head popped off", etc.)