Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught the bouquet at her friend's wedding, then shook them in my face like an accusation. I joined in the laughing with everyone else, but it put her in a mood, and she now hasn’t spoken to me in two days. FML
Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
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Top comments
transcedental 18
Somehow.. I.. just wanna give you a hug. Sorry that she didn't appreciate your gesture ;/
thelastavailable 13
She definitely got some on holiday.
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Comments (168)
perdix 31
That would have been so manly, macho, virile and butch if you showed up with a fabulous arrangement of pansies with Queen Anne's lace. I've heard that's what Chuck Norris prefers.
pedinhuh 23
**** that shit, i would give those flowers to first girl on the street, then maybe would think differently...
vbmg152 19
She's not very appreciative! I'd be glad to get them! You need another girlfriend!!
hiandrews69 29
I would have dumped her ass, saying that she wasn't as deserving of "better" flowers. Then, I would have left her there.
BigDogMatt 13
Go over to the TSA and say she was making terroristic threats... I bet the outcome would be a little more satisfying
Vidrill 22
The test of a healthy relationship is feeling happy to see the other person and not paying attention to something so trivial. Maybe something to think about..
Jordath_Fil 11
Dude. Get better flowers!!!!
SighGuy89 5
That would be an instant break up for me, but I might be biased since I don't much prefer the spoiled/entitled princess type.
ravenxcorvinus 9
ditch the bitch! D:
taka805 10
Whatever happened to being grateful for the little things in a relationship? The flowers were a nice gesture. Just taking time out of your day because you missed her should have been enough...