Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML
Today, I sat next to my crush in class in a very loose, low-hanging shirt in the front (my mother had made me wear it, I didn't want to), and I felt so giddy because he kept staring at me in shock. No, not because I'm so beautiful, but because my boobs were hanging out. FML
Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I went to a party and met a guy who was super charming. We hit it off, and he seemed really into me. After talking for a while, he leaned in for a kiss, and I thought, "This is it!" But instead of a kiss, he just sniffed my hair, then said, "Wow, you smell just like my mom!" FML
Today, I went out for coffee with my sister and my crush. I spent the majority of the date flirting with my crush, and when he dropped us off at home, I told him I had fun on our date. He looked at me surprised and said he'd thought I'd tagged along on his date with my sister. FML
Today, my brother had his fiancée over to meet the whole family. We were having a great time with her, and my mother gushed to her that she was like the daughter she never had. I'm her daughter. FML
Today, after a busy afternoon taking care of the kids, I was feeling really down about only being a mom these days, and I was hoping my husband would make me feel better when he got off work. In the middle of cuddling, he called me "mom." FML
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
Today, I told my crush of two years that I love him. He responded with an, "Aww, I'm sorry." and a pity hug. FML
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Top comments
ElatedEarthling 15
If he's anything like Oedipus, you may have a chance.
danielhartlesss 13
I think it's safe to say you have no chance.
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Comments (124)
danielhartlesss 13
I think it's safe to say you have no chance.
electrorange 13
MILF!!! Again??
sux4u121 10
Unless he's into incest, and if that's the case I don't think you want to be dating him anyway. Either way it's a lose-lose situation.
ohcheriecherie 20
Some guys do love a girl who takes care of them. Better get out. Too time-consuming.
plum_lovin 28
Maybe he knows she likes him and is trying to be nice and tell her... in an odd way.. or he has a thing for moms... lol
MrBrightside21 20
Oedipal complex is actually pretty common in guys. It's weird, I know, but some guys don't even realize it. For example, I've always found a girl who let's me stay up 'til 10 o'clock on weekends very attractive.
tjv3 10
I think she has a chance . Rock his world with mind blowing sex and get the hell out of the mother zone
rasengan1544 12
Maybe OP can be a MHLF (Mother he'd like to f)
LolFMLnot 10
Well, they do say that men tend to get attracted to women who reminds them of their mom
vanillacocoa 6
MILF c:
ElatedEarthling 15
If he's anything like Oedipus, you may have a chance.
klovemachine 24
That's hot :)
Pleonasm 36
O.o
lilhellian 27
Damn even made pleo go O.o
ElatedEarthling 15
20- As a mother and disturbed FMLer, I respectfully disagree.
Pleonasm 36
20, I'm sure Oedipus found it hot when he found out he killed his dad, that his mom killed herself and I bet he just loved gouging his eyes out. Nothing sexier than Greek Tragedy. Sex and Death mixed in ways I only dream about. That sexy Phèdre and her HIppolyte, gets me off each time.
then000bster 16
See? It's already been done. It's just so vapid.
klovemachine 24
Dang, people, I was just kidding :-P (heads to his room in shame...)
SammehDx 6
This made my day. Thank you.
JonStewartFan 2
Oedipus Rex, the original mofo.
X_Codes 11
I come in here thinking I'd try to be the first one to make a particularly snarky incest joke. Then I realized that I'm on the internet, and within 5 minutes of the start of comedic timing we not only get every incest joke that's at least a little witty, but we also manage many bad ones and throw in a few references that everyone pretends to know about until the nerd (or particularly adept Googler) shows up and annihilates the party. Thank you, internet, for making me into the warped bastard I am.
sonuskos 6
I sense jealousy and hatred~~~
alexandrialala 6
Oedipus ended up scratching his eyes out, and his mother/wife committed suicide. Updated: Someone already posted this, I didn't notice.
l23VIVE 17
Ha I actually got that reference
Eorlas 31
Either you have no chance with him now, or he's going to call you mommy in bed.
AbstraktThoughts 13
MILF?
iOceanus 18
Some girls say "daddy" in bed, but saying "mommy" in bed seems a bit odd... Hey, whatever gets you goin'!
Snoopy0718 14
Calling your significant other "mommy" or "daddy" in bed is odd in general.
jampang6 5
Who's your daddy?
xInwex 12
I didn't think there was anything worse than being friendzoned, I was wrong...
Catkam623 27
No this is better she gets to spank him when he's bad;)
MidnaLink 35
There's one thing worse than being mother/father zoned: it's called no-zoned.
Pretty_reckless_fml 18
Brother/sister zoned might be pretty bad?
cmac86 24
been there, done that. it sucks.
maz95 17
Well I guess you're lucky that he actually enjoys having you around even though it's not the relationship you'd prefer.
Jovecove 13
#5 you must be that girl who friendzones lots of guys
maz95 17
#29 Not exactly..but at least it's something!
lilhellian 27
Don't worry you can be the cool mom op! :D
DocBastard 40
Do you also lick your finger to wipe mustard off his cheek? Maybe you should re-evaluate your behaviour around him.
nycwrestler 17
I think fixing his collar is appropriate, but not so over the top as wiping mustard off his cheek.
pmadNess 16
I agree with Doc! I've made that very same mistake! No more!!!
ElatedEarthling 15
There's nothing wrong with a person taking care of someone they fancy.
pmadNess 16
16- Nothing wrong with that, but if he wants to make her mommy... She's overdoing it.
Octain 13
People would call me "mother hen" for a while because I was so caring, but it didn't bother me. Eventually my crush started realizing I was actually very caring and he ended up loving that about me.
Enslaved 38
Good thing you said mustard instead of mayonnaise. Being in college, white stuff on the face could have been a number of things. :O
shiney100893 15
People call me "mother hen" too every now and then. Glad I amn't the only one :) Think I may have to give up on him though. It's just too weird for anything to happen now :/
zojieeu 6
You never know if he has milf fetish ;D
living_thedream 12
Stop doing things for him and treating him like someone special. He will realize how much he misses you being there for him.
Catkam623 27
That just gives him mother issues, I could be wrong but aren't those worse than daddy issues?
DrunkButterfly 17
Many guys end up marrying women who are just like their mothers. Stick with him, OP. You'll get your man! :)
VScpu 3
I agree, I learned that in an ep of How I Met Your Mother.