Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, my girlfriend returned from a two day trip. I'd spent the time cleaning the house and working on house projects, so she wouldn't come home and be stressed. She got upset when she got home because the house was clean, and it made her feel inadequate. FML
Today, my girl called me a "brainless, insensitive prick" Why? Because I wanted to surprise her with flowers since she’s been on vacation for 3 weeks and I hadn’t seen her. She was badly sunburned. I’d bought sunflowers. FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, I received gorgeous orchids from my long distance boyfriend. I was excited about it and told my parents. They still are convinced I have no boyfriend and I mailed the flowers to myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught the bouquet at her friend's wedding, then shook them in my face like an accusation. I joined in the laughing with everyone else, but it put her in a mood, and she now hasn’t spoken to me in two days. FML
Today, I went to surprise my girlfriend, who was at work at Target, with flowers. I asked the employee at the entrance if she was there. When he asked who I was, his face lit up red and he started profusely apologizing, stating, “She told me you guys broke up.” before guiding me to her area. News to me. FML
Today, I received a bunch of flowers from my 'lover'. This would be fine, except that I don't have a lover, and my boyfriend now thinks I'm cheating. FML
Today, I surprised my girlfriend with roses. She surprised me by getting back together with her ex. FML
Today, my wife and I got into an argument. She ran out, yelling. Later, at work, I felt guilty, so I picked up some flowers and a card. When I presented them to her, she looked puzzled. I made the mistake of reminding her about our argument. She is now mad at me, again. FML
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Top comments
transcedental 18
Somehow.. I.. just wanna give you a hug. Sorry that she didn't appreciate your gesture ;/
thelastavailable 13
She definitely got some on holiday.
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Comments (168)
clarke7792 6
sometimes i think being single is nice... my camaro never back sasses me.
greysfox 6
She doesn't deserve you. If my man gave me flowers, even once, I would be over the moon. He's an awesome husband and provider, and my match in all things loverly- but not romantic. Now, if you have other defects that she overlooks, you might want to overlook this flaw of hers... But yea.
Kolden 11
Be a man and dump the bitch.
miura_fml 17
She should be happy she got any flowers at all.
DriAA7 17
And that's when you loudly exclaim, "how did you get that gun into the airport?"
spicedream 8
if that was your girlfriend speaking, dump her; she's a snobby ****. if it was her parents, lol poor you.
dan_in_wi 12
she cheated...
Cupcake040 17
Don't get you flowers ever again....now that valentines day is coming up she'll appreciate the nice thing you did in the first place!!! Even if you only got her one daisy it's the thought that counts.....
kredd91 11
She is lucky she got any flowers at all. What a bitch.
BadKitty13 28
Two Words: F' IN BITCH.