Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML
Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
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Top comments
thehumanlyhuman 7
Your foreskin was... alive? Circumcision guilt?
robbins28 7
What the hell?
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Comments (150)
Epikouros 31
To be honest, an intact foreskin's life isn't all sunshine and roses. Mine gets manhandled roughly and pissed on every day.
perdix 29
Was this ghost foreskin wearing a hood? Because that'd be kinda redundant:)
ally8 21
You're a freak
Unenunciable 14
In Germany, they've recently created legal barriers to only allow circumcision under certain circumstances (medically necessary/religion, boy old enough to understand and agree to procedure). I completely agree with this because I think all unnecessary procedures should not be done, and babies especially are so vulnerable to infection. While it is true that being circumcised can reduce the rate of STDs, this is only a problem when one becomes sexually active, at which point one should be old enough to make an informed decision anyways. It is not OK to permanently remove part of a person's body without their consent, what is taken cannot be returned, and it changes that person's life forever. There's a reason the Right to Bodily Integrity is a basic Human Right.
unhappyhug 11
You should make some friends mate
Joker15_fml 10
This is amazing
a4s 8
What the heck?
zinnath 9
I'll never take you for granted
faygo_chick 5
There's plenty of proof that it just looks way better without one! Not like a gross leach or elephant trunk *shudder*
nnnope 26
no, there's actually no proof to support your *opinion.*
UrYousername 15
How the hell does this get posted?