By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 17:21 - United States - Rocklin

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 317
You deserved it 4 362

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FMLemur 4

Nothing better than being woken up by a pussy I always say.

I'm confused - was the urine yours, or did the car pee on you to wake you? "Dammit, wake up and feed me! No? Well then I'll pee on your head. Wake up!! Still not up? That's it, here come the claws of death!!"


alliewillie 22

Well - did you feed him?

Op, cats are living organisms, so they do indeed need fed.

kimgr 9

OP never said he/she never fed the cat.. your cool..the person above editted their comment

Who said op didn't?

#1 No, she threw her cat out the window.

thiscrazything 1

Hungry cat was successful and woke you up, the urine thing was probably just bonus points for your cat.

lovepandorasaver 11

No kitty bad Kitty!!!

subversivefreak 2

Kitty has style if it can also invoke horror dreams to wake you up and make sure you get the goodies for them. I wonder if this cat has seen inception :)

You just caught a glimpse of that thing's true form.

LOL I looover the comment lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Zombies are cool.

You won't be saying that when it's the zombie apocalypse...

KiddNYC1O 20

They hate fast food. =P

KiddNYC1O 20

Ok I made an unpleasant comment, move along.

I thought that was a really funny joke. (:

I would be thrilled for a zombie apocalypse

FMLemur 4

Nothing better than being woken up by a pussy I always say.

Not a one that scratches you

FMLemur 4

It's even better if they scratch you, then it's construed as kinky.

i see what you did there!

The only way it could scratch is if it had claws like some sort of Venus fly trap. Or the movie "Teeth" google vag dentada. It burns

Do not speak of that movie ever again

Your cat knows how to let you know what it needs, at least.

kimgr 9

Aww that's cute my cat sit at the end of my bed staring at me

TheElderTROLLZ 15


5- how is that cute, and what does it have to do with your cat? These situations are not similar.

I would accidentally kick the cat off in reflex. That would be some scary shit.

Zombie cats. They're everywhere.

That is so funny I think. Well, did you feed the cat?

I would of killed the damn thing.. I hate cats

I want Meow Mix, I want tuna, Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Nom Nom. I am very aware that the Nom Nom part isn't in the song.

Then why'd you put it there?

51- I really want to thumbs up your comment but...your's just too awful.

Actually, pretty sure most of that isn't the actual song... There might be a different version I don't knoe of but that's definitely not the jingle I remember. I want chicken, I want liver, Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver! Meow, meow, meow!

Easy fix. Get rid of the cat. You might get noticed by the opposite sex too.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

There's nothing in the FML that suggests that OP is single or miserable because they are single. Or that getting rid of the cat would be at all relevant. It's their fault for not feeding it. Hardly fair to throw the poor thing out because it's hungry and caused OP to piss their own bed.

Who said the cat wasn't being fed? My cats mess with my parents every early morning to be fed. One I had would sneeze in my mother's face to wake her up so she could be fed.

VasilisaUzhasnaj 29

I don't know about that, but my cat only whines to be fed when her food bowl is empty.

I live with two cats. (my girlfriend has an unhealthy obsession with domestic vermin) and they are annoying all the time. Not just when they are hungry.

Two whole cats? Someone call Animal Hoarders, that shit's outta control.

Yeah. I'd say so. Animals that make messes. Climb walls destroy furniture and piss on everything. Perfectly acceptable pet right?

Dude, that's why you train them not to do that stuff. Pets are only unpleasant to have if they're neglected. They're like children, but better.