Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, it was the day of my wedding. I had a massive headache a couple of hours before the ceremony so I decided to take a nap. I told my brother to wake me up an hour before it started. He forgot. Now everyone thinks I ran out on my wife. FML
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
Today, it was supposed to be my wedding but my fiancé insisted we be married by his childhood priest, a real bible thumper. This arsehole tried to change our vows at the altar and told me wives should know their place, so I slapped him and the wedding is delayed until we get a new priest. FML
Today, a mad woman squirted me with a water gun filled with paint as we were leaving the church where I just married my husband. As I was staring at this mad bitch in my ruined dress, wondering why she would do something so horrible, she ran off crying and shouting, "Sorry wrong wedding!" FML
Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML
Today, my fiancé accidentally ran over the priest who is supposed to be marrying us in 3 days. Now, not only do we need a new priest, we need a new church to get married in, with only 3 days to find them. FML
Today, I accidentally slept in two hours later than I was supposed to. Today is my wedding day. FML
Today, my fiancé told a priest on the bus to fuck off, because he was annoying her with all his God talk. She didn’t know the priest had been our family's priest for the past 40 years, the guy we were supposed to talk to about our wedding next year. Guess that’s not happening now. FML
Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML
Today, I blacked out at a wedding as a bridesmaid, during the service. FML
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Top comments
BrotherThomas 0
you mean passed out after drinking too much, not falling asleep ;)
Kishaz_Thirteen 0
At least it's a wedding meeting, and not the actual wedding.
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Comments (51)
limegreenpoopie 31
loll
XxDevilxXGt 26
spaghetti* church :/ the whole fml is ruined.
Sirin_fml 46
Whoopsy.
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Op, you must have felt like a real dick-head!
Doortje 29
I know, it should have said macaroni :(
I_iz_B_a_troll 23
Dear Lord, please remove this dick-head from the gene pool. In Your holy name we pray, amen Also, I think manicotti would be more appropriate.
EffinAhole 0
I'm so confused
froggermea 5
yeah i agree with 43 what is "manicotti"
DestinyYum 3
The priest wasn't happy cos he didn't get to touch the penis, he was hoping it would be on a little boy:)
MizzKrista 0
C'mon now, pretty much everybody has has a penis drawn on them!
Ninjafriends 1
It was a scale drawing of your own penis. And your fiance didn't notify you?
ryrock310 10
ever thought they might be a girl?
adam_zelyoni 0
absolute ********
WeeGee_fml 0
maybe instead of playing dress up with your friends you should have got back in the kitchen, you know to make your husband a sandwich
fakeaccountX 6
I think the OP's a man.
Sammara 0
I think people think the OP is a woman because "fiance" is male, while "fiancee" is female. Though, it could be a male/male marriage, depending on the state, of course.
valalvax 13
most people use fiancé as a gender nonspecific term
memo619 0
I thought priests liked the penis ;)
tory777 0
lololol. priests like SMALL penises.
CrypticHatchet 0
It said small penis.
Ryonix 0
ydi for going to the meeting
perdix 29
He probably thought that the drawing was actual size and was praying for your husband-to-be to get some Enzyte or start jelqing. Otherwise, he'll have to hear your confessions of adultery when you discover real-sized sausages.
perdix 29
"Now, my child, you must say Penis . . ., er, I mean, Penance. Yeah, that's it, Penance!"
XxjackiemxX 0
wow what nice friends you have.
BrotherThomas 0
you mean passed out after drinking too much, not falling asleep ;)