Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML
Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML
Today, I woke up sweating and gasping for air after having a terrible nightmare. The nightmare involved my deceased mother-in-law bitching me out for being a bad influence on her daughter and threatening to cut my nuts off. Even in death, she won't leave me be. FML
Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML
Today, after Thanksgiving dinner, we all played Cards Against Humanity. On one round, I was the dealer, and I received "foreskin" as a card. When I said this, my grandmother told me that apparently, after my ritual circumcision, my grandfather buried my foreskin under our rosebushes. FML
Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML
Today, I had a horrific nightmare where I was lost in the woods and got mauled to death by a hungry wolf. I fully blacked out in the dream before waking up in real life, at 3AM, where I found that my room was pitch black because I forgot to open the curtains. I genuinely thought I was dead for about five seconds. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML
Today, I woke up to a pile of hair on my floor. I looked in the mirror and realized the hair was from my head. I had a dream about cutting my hair and I guess it came true. FML
Today, I woke up to large spot of blood in my underwear. This wouldn't be too big a deal if I didn't have a penis. FML
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Top comments
thehumanlyhuman 7
Your foreskin was... alive? Circumcision guilt?
robbins28 7
What the hell?
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Comments (150)
katie1989 9
Oh and foreskins dont go to heaven. Theyre used in wrinkle cream And cosmetics. Eww right?!
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Although circumcision is personal choice of the parents, studies do show that uncircumcised men are more likely to get penile cancer. It also shows that if not done as a newborn, the risk is the same as if it had never been done. If it has to be done as an adult it can be very painful, have longer recovery, and is surgery(versus a quick snip for a newborn). Not advocating either side, just presenting the facts. Personally, I had both of my sons circumcised and they both seem to have adjusted well to not having a foreskin.
Epikouros 31
And how many men get penile cancer? (1 in 100,000 in the US.)
wiccaantje 21
Personally, I don't feel like I've mutilated my children because it's accepted by society and I felt like it's prettier. I'm going to present you some of the little advantages of circumcision and ignore the lot of disadvantages. I will also highlight the fact that circumcision is the choice of the parents and that the choice does not belong to the person that is in the body. I refused my children any choice regarding their own body and they are ok!!!
BeeHMC 9
This is probably the weirdest fml ever
Dark_Stream 29
YDI. It's too late now. Get over it and accept yourself as you are now. At best, you can let your sons (if you have any) decide when they get old enough.
sanecatlady 13
And I thought the dream I had that insect eggs and blood were gushing out of my butthole last night was bad. Sorry if that was TMI.
katie1989 9
It was
1968Guy 9
retard, they should of sliced you between the ears
emmagoober23 2
fore·skin ˈfôrˌskin/ noun noun: foreskin; plural noun: foreskins 1. the retractable roll of skin covering the end of the penis.
MzZombicidal 36
I'm pretty sure everyone's aware of what foreskin is but thanks for the refresher!
scoutforlillies 5
Shut up, just shut up
not_a_anonomous 9
Dreams, it can be so weird.
jasmine_k72 6
Well...this is creepy