Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
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Top comments
herpitydurteedur 0
Kill them >:3 I'd just be like oh hey I'm leaving and when they ask why just say oh cause I wouldn't want you to to feel like you have to share your precious pizza with me so I'll just go home.
ritzbits 0
pizza is delicious, you should have found them and took a slice.
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Comments (170)
Enigmax2514 7
Easy, rush to his afk spawning area and spam headshot him, then prepare a cat, suit, turnable chair and a table lamp. Wear the suit, turn on the lamp, sit on the chair and let the cat lie on your lap. Turn the chair to face the wall. Once he enters the room, shine the lamp at him, stroke the cat and ask "how was the pizzas, FRIEND"
Enigmax2514 7
Heh forgot to tell op to turn his chair round before stroking the cat. Fail -.-
eliser97 0
This was the funniest thing i've heard lol . He so should have done it !
Blue_Black_fml 21
I would've popped up wherever in the house they were eating that pizza so the cheap asses would be forced to share it
stompic 2
YDI for checking someone's phone ;)
THE_A_TEEN 28
Not his fault his friend's family dont treat visitors with respect when they are supposed to.
penguinonastairc 0
Well, if one of my friends left their phone unattended I would look on it. who wouldnt?
spartan522114 0
If someone read a text, promptly left, and left the message up, I'd read it.
CryosFear 14
I for one, would not
Wheredidgrungego 12
So the FML is that you didn't get pizza? Get over yourself and call up Dominoes. You'll have a fantastic pizza in 30 minutes or less, and you won't have to share.
HannahForbesxo 13
I guess you just missed the entire point of the FML then. It says: "Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed". It's not the fact that OP didn't get pizza, it's that they had it in secret because OP wasn't worthy. Gosh.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Regardless if they had it in secret or not, bottom line: OP did not get any pizza. I think he's being a bit of a priss and should get over it. It's pizza, not the end of the world. But that's just my opinion.
StopDropNRoll 11
No it's not about the pizza it could have been any food! It's the fact that his friend is a dick and didn't offer that bothers him.
miserypoison 13
Lay off buddy, whether it is pizza, chips, ice-cream or chicken - he lied and was self-centered enough to exclude OP, your suppose to treat your guests with maximum respect if pleasant. They're one stingy family and hope that family knows what it is like to feel like to be left out of something. The dad is the bigger douche too, OP's bestfriend would surely be offered pizza if the dad said so. This isn't a reason to break up a friendship though, shit happens
zombicidal 11
I don't think his friend was a dick he was just doing what his dad said what of your son went directly against something you told him it wouldn't go well at my place
Wheredidgrungego 12
Wow I really got ****** on this thread. hahahahaha
MrHomerSimpson 11
Mmmmmmmmm... pizza.
Enigmax2514 7
Jus love his mmmmhmmmmmm comments, GO HOMER
KissMyAnthia200 12
Your profile pic makes me laugh! Mmmmm....pizza!
touch_the_sky 7
Wouldn't OP notice something was up when the friend was gone for a ridiculously long time?
tjsomethin 9
I'm guessing that's why OP checked his friend's cell phone.
metalsmith 0
Maybe OP has been outstaying his welcome? Just a thought
cybersilver71 5
Pwnd and owned.
95Sins 7
Sucky bestfriend
07jeepster 0
That's not what I would call a friend. Nore a parent with valves. If your buddy was getting food he should have offered to you, seeings how you were sharing your game.
07jeepster 0
Well I miss read even if you were at their house they still could have offered.. Find better friends
molly2moon 0
Parent with valves. Lol