Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
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Top comments
herpitydurteedur 0
Kill them >:3 I'd just be like oh hey I'm leaving and when they ask why just say oh cause I wouldn't want you to to feel like you have to share your precious pizza with me so I'll just go home.
ritzbits 0
pizza is delicious, you should have found them and took a slice.
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Comments (170)
Petal23 11
it's not easy being the friend in that situation either - i know, cause my parents were always that stingy!
ThaHero 0
It's his money he spent. He isn't obligated to feed you.
THE_A_TEEN 28
It's called being polite to your guest. No matter what.
lovejdbieber 0
invasion of privacy much??? but still, owned. that's gotta hurt
lulututu 4
Bieber sucks.
Egnar 19
Obviously your suspicions were correct but. . .What made you so curious that somebody said they had to go to the bathroom?. . .Does your friend normally not excrete waste?
Conart4327 0
And you checked his phone because????
eatpussy 0
I say there is way more to this. I think that OP overstayed his welcome or wasnt invited to his friends house and just showed up. Honstly if i was the dad and my son's friend continueously(sp for you gramma nazis) showed up at our house without being invited or kept staying too long or both, i wouldnt really want to feed him
creedaddict 9
Wow ... Lol next time his over ur house do the same it's not like he can say anything ... Lol ...
rj33445 4
U have a grimy friend
emo1993 1
In what way do you behave that they take the effort to work around you? I know of at least one thing... Checking others phones = don't want to be around.
linzor_fml 1
They're not obligated to feed you, note to self: don't go through people's phones. ydi