Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out I can't go to my best friend's birthday party. To cheer me up, my parents decided to take me and my brother to my favorite pizzeria for dinner. When I was ready and went downstairs, I discovered they left already. They forgot me. FML
Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML
Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
Today, I was hyping myself up to work out after weeks of being a lazy slob. I slapped my workout gear on, got my Spotify playlist ready, and just as I was about to start, my friend texted me asking if I wanted pizza. I’m now in my workout clothes, eating pizza on his couch. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I made a nice meal for myself and sat down to eat. Suddenly, my dad burst into my room saying, “We have to go.” This isn’t the first time it’s happened, nor was it an emergency. My family just doesn’t tell me when we have plans. FML
Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML
Today, at work, I was told I was a failure. Feeling like crap, I went to my best friend to see if he could make me laugh. He told me that he felt obligated to hang out with me, so he thought that we shouldn't anymore. FML
Today, I felt like cheating on my diet and ordered a pizza. My mom and my sister were napping, so I put in the delivery notes, “Please don’t knock.” The delivery guy knocked anyway. LOUD. My mom and sister got up and saw everything. FML
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Top comments
herpitydurteedur 0
Kill them >:3 I'd just be like oh hey I'm leaving and when they ask why just say oh cause I wouldn't want you to to feel like you have to share your precious pizza with me so I'll just go home.
ritzbits 0
pizza is delicious, you should have found them and took a slice.
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Comments (170)
professorxfm 7
Time to look for a new BFF!
nstybtch 0
That sucks!!! Time for a new BFF
miserypoison 13
Greedy, self-centered douches. How can someone have the capability to do that, worst FML to experience ever.
Flamedude101 4
are u kidding me? ive read waaaaaaay worse on this site
CurlyChica808 4
I like your gas mask:D
jswizzle_ 6
wow. That's kind of horrible. He is obviously not a very good friend.
ea49610 0
You should have said to the dad "Bitch wheres my slice?!"
syfool 4
Thats just cheap! The greedy dad is going to have pizza with Staline and hitler in his afterlife.
thegreatbigwhite 2
Ah, hyperbole. We meet again.
allthatremains25 0
Since when you looked at his phone the message popped up, so what's the kid gonna do? Say, oops! I forgot to go before, imma go now.
1happymummy 14
So? I hate having to feed uninvited guests.
sabrinalmfaoo 0
He wasn't an uninvited guest though.
ManiacsRose 10
Ummm he wasn't uninvited.
NeoOne 0
Lol yeah bad friend. But anyways, you weren't being a good friend either by checking his messages. That makes you a bad friend too, you know
FrancisMX3 6
I would also be curious if my friend received a text that would made him go to the toilet, I mean, really.
Evie_fml 14
That's incredibly rude of your friend, but you were incredibly rude by checking your friend's text messages. Who does that? You can't just invade someone's privacy because you're curious. In short, if that's the kind of friendship you offer each other, you seem like a good match.
Maddoctor 10
I really don't see why people are freaking over the OP reading the text message. It's not like his friend was talking shit about him, and he did leave his phone behind. If people are so worried about others reading their text messages then they should probably keep their phones with them at all times...or delete messages that they don't want others to see.
Evie_fml 14
I don't think it really matters what you have in there or whether you care if someone else knows about it, it's just a matter of respect. It's kind of like how you wouldn't open someone else's mail. Just like mail, the people I know wouldn't just pick up someone else's phone and snoop through it. Perhaps it's a generational thing... I don't even check my fiance's phone/email/mail, because I think it's rude to go through his stuff. My little sister and her friends always seem to be grabbing each other's stuff and looking through it though. I don't get it, but maybe that's the way things are now...?
Maddoctor 10
Yeah it might be, and although there's not too much of a age gap between us I guess I'm more of a "millenial." Personally I don't care if my friends or boyfriend go through petty stuff like my phone. Mail or a journal would definitely be a no no, but something as vulnerable as a phone really shouldn't be my pandora's box. I'm all for a sense of and a respect for privacy, but being so protective over the information on a cellphone I will never understand, but then again I'm not one of those people whose entire life in kept in something the size of a deck of cards.
santel_fml 8
They're selfish