I've got the hots for you

By Jarman - 26/07/2012 05:39 - United States - Columbus

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 102
You deserved it 5 894

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Top comments

Cockblocked by your shit. Classic.

CessOMG 3

I freaking hate it when that happens. FYL.


CessOMG 3

I freaking hate it when that happens. FYL.

1 - Exactly how many times have you had to turn down a sexy time because because your intestines were bursting with the desire to unleash molten lava..?

mrnuleef 7

I thought i was the only one! Fyl

Trisha_aus 15

Disappointingly? You do know when your body releases said molten lava you're not going to feel good...I don't think anyone likes the blast..and I'm sure you'll get many other opportunities for some sexy time.

cloak057_fml 8

Nature calls

SenselessPattern 12

Never miss sexy time. Ever. Strike 1, OP.

klovemachine 24

Mother nature 1, OP 0 :(

Welcome to the world of anxiety.

Well I guess it was better at home than in his pants :P

NeedaLifeSoon 2

I hate when that happens. Better luck next time man. :)

Airman1988 9

Shit happens.....sorry couldn't resist people

*Waits for inevitable "That's shitty" comment*

These jokes are shitty...

p3mguin 7

That's shitty

Unicorntails 7

Jeez, that sucks. Sorry, OP! Maybe next time.

Was I the only one who thought about borat right away?

Jill is still available.

Cockblocked by your shit. Classic.

cantthinkofshit 5

Haha my thoughts exactly

Blackmail111 9

It may be small but it sure is mighty!

pillowsarecomfy 2

At least you figured out you needed the bathroom before you got in bed with this girl. That would have been an FML on a completely different level.

Double post.

At least it was done in the privacy of your own home! I fear public restrooms! :P

So? OP could have flushed the toilet while he let out that tiny fart and nobody would suspect.

yes they would suspect something because they'd need to flush a second time...

puppytaco64 8

Le sexy time. Me Gusta

SHORT INTERLUDE.. Just came back from Portugal where me and my friends used "Me Gusta" against every stranger, not knowing if it was actually Spanish or Italian.. Good times :)

wild_n_out 8

They speak Portuguese there so it's not really that big a issue.

As Borat would say, "Very Nice!!"

The wording of this post is awesome. Would you rather be disappointed by a small shit, or explode in the middle of your date and be embarrassed? Better safe than sorry.

Well at least it wasn't in front of the girl... Then there would be no next time. Now at least, you might have a second chance. Just pretending you were playing hard to get.

Unless she's into that.

citymayer 7

Oh god... GAG!!

perdix 29

That's what you get for following your gut instead of thinking with your dick. She might have been into scat, so your digestive problems could have been an ass-et. I foresee an epic mudslide in your near future. (it's magic, it's tragic, it's a loss and a win.)

WearingHats 14

Asset. That is some funny shit.