Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 849
You deserved it 6 934
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

mysadlyfe 9

I lost it at "my asshole went numb" sorry op!! sounds embarassing!

344 6
ForFudgeSake 6

You should have gone somewhere farter away.

310 10

Comments

sarneeley 14

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
Uglyfeet 23

She didn't assume anything, she was having an insane gastric distress.

124 2
Vagitarian1 10

I think I just found the woman of my dreams. IM me baby!

3 20
kenyrabit 25

PS. I vote that it's not a big enough deal to survey for neighbors when it's time to fart in your own backyard.

3 0
mysadlyfe 9

I lost it at "my asshole went numb" sorry op!! sounds embarassing!

344 6
Capt_Obvious 11

Yeah, I stopped and reread that like five times before I got to finish this one.

11 1
ForFudgeSake 6

You should have gone somewhere farter away.

310 10
Uglyfeet 23

So much better than "stinky situation" puns... :D

56 3
MrConcise 34

You don't have to be so anally against repeat pun usage. They may fall flatulent, but that's what the bury--I mean, thumbs down button is for.

24 85
tpm45 25

#18, thank you so much for reminding me to dislike your comment... I might have forgotten otherwise.

61 5
MrConcise 34

@42 - That's fine, it's just that pointing out overused puns like "shitty situation" is more annoying than the puns themselves. Plus I wanted to use flatulent. :)

6 14
josebaseball11 14

Your response should have been, "top that." Then walk away.

281 2
False_Stupidity 41

But then the neighbors response may well have been "challenge accepted!" and then the fart wars would be on.

66 3
wvni 13

#21- I hope the other neighbors won't mind. Or maybe they'll join in...

32 1
SmoothPancakes 10

Just as long as her neighbor isn't Michael Moore.

6 3
SlipperyNipple 9

Hahha that 'just so you know, i totally heard that' cough.

106 7
MoodiQ 8

or maybe its the 'what the hell is this terrible smell I cant breathe' cough

33 1
eriksen 16

Hey it's not that bad, maybe he didn't even see you and thought it was someone else.

7 23
RedPillSucks 31

I'm sure the neighbor knows who lives next door. Perhaps he can blame it on the dog, or a pet elephant.

43 2
buckstop1 37

When #8 said someone else, I think he was referring to possibly the other neighbors

12 2
KingSplatter 9

We must know... cuz I have a war of my own going on at the moment

15 1
s3kShUn47 20

Probably some Taco Bell, that always get's people going crazy on the toilets

24 2
Godsofdracos 15

Probably Mickey D's, tasty-ish going in, explosive coming back out.

3 4
dawood_k 27

Oh that's a shitty situation. Embarrassing to the gut

8 61
ryanthecheeseguy 18

Jesus Christ we need to ban that comment.

39 2
thatguynamedsky 32

I always love it when the picture perfectly reflects the comment

9 1
AllKnowingTurtle 9

I think it was because your neighbor was impressed! I mean, a cough? He was left speechless.

31 7