Hear this?

By soundslikeadumbcommentersituation - 11/07/2014 20:34 - Canada - Brampton

Today, while in my backyard, I had some insane gastric distress. I let out a fart so powerful that it made me yelp in pain, and left my asshole numb. A second later, I heard a cough come from over my neighbor's fence. I had to quietly limp back into my house in shame. FML
I agree, your life sucks 45 840
You deserved it 6 930

Same thing different taste

Top comments

mysadlyfe 9

I lost it at "my asshole went numb" sorry op!! sounds embarassing!

You should have gone somewhere farter away.


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She didn't assume anything, she was having an insane gastric distress.

I think I just found the woman of my dreams. IM me baby!

PS. I vote that it's not a big enough deal to survey for neighbors when it's time to fart in your own backyard.

mysadlyfe 9

I lost it at "my asshole went numb" sorry op!! sounds embarassing!

Yeah, I stopped and reread that like five times before I got to finish this one.

You should have gone somewhere farter away.

So much better than "stinky situation" puns... :D

You don't have to be so anally against repeat pun usage. They may fall flatulent, but that's what the bury--I mean, thumbs down button is for.

tpm45 25

#18, thank you so much for reminding me to dislike your comment... I might have forgotten otherwise.

@42 - That's fine, it's just that pointing out overused puns like "shitty situation" is more annoying than the puns themselves. Plus I wanted to use flatulent. :)

josebaseball11 14

Your response should have been, "top that." Then walk away.

But then the neighbors response may well have been "challenge accepted!" and then the fart wars would be on.

#21- I hope the other neighbors won't mind. Or maybe they'll join in...

Just as long as her neighbor isn't Michael Moore.

SlipperyNipple 9

Hahha that 'just so you know, i totally heard that' cough.

or maybe its the 'what the hell is this terrible smell I cant breathe' cough

Hey it's not that bad, maybe he didn't even see you and thought it was someone else.

RedPillSucks 31

I'm sure the neighbor knows who lives next door. Perhaps he can blame it on the dog, or a pet elephant.

When #8 said someone else, I think he was referring to possibly the other neighbors

We must know... cuz I have a war of my own going on at the moment

Probably some Taco Bell, that always get's people going crazy on the toilets

Probably Mickey D's, tasty-ish going in, explosive coming back out.

Oh that's a shitty situation. Embarrassing to the gut

Jesus Christ we need to ban that comment.

I always love it when the picture perfectly reflects the comment

I think it was because your neighbor was impressed! I mean, a cough? He was left speechless.